...how i am TWO SECONDS from committing a crime. yes, ladies and gentlemen, i'm about to abandon an animal in the woods. what animal you ask? the same friggin dog that was unapologetically thrust upon me last week.
*sometime yesterday afternoon*
i was quietly celebrating the fact it was the dog's last night at my house. as i was doing so, he started running around dry heaving. so, i quarantined him to one area because as we all know, i'm a germaphobe and i can NOT have him barfing his doggie germs all over the place with a baby running around. plus, thats just gross! i can barely clean up my own kid's vomit...let alone some ranky, stanky dog thats NOT mine and could be infested with who-knows-what. as i did so, he began to scream...not bark....but scream! so much so, that my head began to throb and my eyes hurt. so i was faced with 2 issues....sick nasty, germ infested dog running around deflowering my immaculate home or searing headaches serenaded by dog yelps and screams. herein lies the problem...and the need for me to rent a hummer, chug-a-lug on to the deep woods somewhere and say, "run freeeeeeeeee!!!!!" and to make matters worse, his owner pulled a vanishing act and i couldn't get a hold to her at all. this whole time, she's been soooooooo accessible, but when i needed her for real, she's ghostface-UGH! so in a few short hours, i totally became unraveled and looked like this...
*ok, back to reality*
i had to make an emergency run to the spa for solace and quiet. but i almost had a breaakdown on the way there because i am not one for confusion and craziness in my home. this dog-sitting fiasco really upset our routine, and our safe haven. it brought in so many germs and noises that i don't think i EVER want to own a dog unless it can have its own room and its own assistant to actually do things for it cuz i SURELY will not! my husband (who is waaaaay nicer than me sometimes) is the one that deterred me from taking the dog and leaving him somewhere)...i wasn't going to leave him in the woods (unless i could have gotten away with it), but i WAS truly going to take him to a kennel and throw him the duece. i can NOT wait to have the floors cleaned and probably a thorough steaming or something for the airborne germs and varmits he probably contributed. DOUBLE UGH!!!!!!!!
***I HAVE THOROUGHLY LEARNED MY LESSON AND WILL NEVER HOUSE A DOG AGAIN!! HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND, PRETTY CIRCLERS AND BEWARE OF MANGY DOGS WHO MASCARADE AS SWEET, CUTE, LOVABLE PUPS BUT THAT ARE JUST ITCHING TO BARFITIZE YOUR HOUSE DOWN!***