Thursday, August 14, 2008

Let Me Tell You...



...how i am TWO SECONDS from committing a crime. yes, ladies and gentlemen, i'm about to abandon an animal in the woods. what animal you ask? the same friggin dog that was unapologetically thrust upon me last week.
*sometime yesterday afternoon*

i was quietly celebrating the fact it was the dog's last night at my house. as i was doing so, he started running around dry heaving. so, i quarantined him to one area because as we all know, i'm a germaphobe and i can NOT have him barfing his doggie germs all over the place with a baby running around. plus, thats just gross! i can barely clean up my own kid's vomit...let alone some ranky, stanky dog thats NOT mine and could be infested with who-knows-what. as i did so, he began to scream...not bark....but scream! so much so, that my head began to throb and my eyes hurt. so i was faced with 2 issues....sick nasty, germ infested dog running around deflowering my immaculate home or searing headaches serenaded by dog yelps and screams. herein lies the problem...and the need for me to rent a hummer, chug-a-lug on to the deep woods somewhere and say, "run freeeeeeeeee!!!!!" and to make matters worse, his owner pulled a vanishing act and i couldn't get a hold to her at all. this whole time, she's been soooooooo accessible, but when i needed her for real, she's ghostface-UGH! so in a few short hours, i totally became unraveled and looked like this...


*ok, back to reality*

i had to make an emergency run to the spa for solace and quiet. but i almost had a breaakdown on the way there because i am not one for confusion and craziness in my home. this dog-sitting fiasco really upset our routine, and our safe haven. it brought in so many germs and noises that i don't think i EVER want to own a dog unless it can have its own room and its own assistant to actually do things for it cuz i SURELY will not! my husband (who is waaaaay nicer than me sometimes) is the one that deterred me from taking the dog and leaving him somewhere)...i wasn't going to leave him in the woods (unless i could have gotten away with it), but i WAS truly going to take him to a kennel and throw him the duece. i can NOT wait to have the floors cleaned and probably a thorough steaming or something for the airborne germs and varmits he probably contributed. DOUBLE UGH!!!!!!!!




***I HAVE THOROUGHLY LEARNED MY LESSON AND WILL NEVER HOUSE A DOG AGAIN!! HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND, PRETTY CIRCLERS AND BEWARE OF MANGY DOGS WHO MASCARADE AS SWEET, CUTE, LOVABLE PUPS BUT THAT ARE JUST ITCHING TO BARFITIZE YOUR HOUSE DOWN!***

20 comments:

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

I am not an animal person at all!! I have never owned a pet and don't plan on it! lol

12kyle said...

send the dog to mike vick's house. lmao!!!

jussssssss kiddin'


hang in there. you've learned your lesson

The F$%K it List said...

I'm still mad at the owner being ghost. See now, me I would have let that dog run out the door and pretended to chase it. And I love animals especially dogs but not a loud yelling tiny one. BOO!

Make sure you send that woman haldf the cleaning bill.

She W0rd Hustlez said...

Lmaooo @ Mike Vick. Man oh Man, I'm sorry you're going through this girl.

The Jaded NYer said...

UGH! nasty, germy dog!!

I'm so glad my landlord does not allow pets, because my little one wants a puppy. YUCK!

PBW said...

Dangit, 12kyle stole my line!

Nicole, Inc. said...

Leave that dog alone!!! I am an animal lover, in fact I had a dog just like the one you were house sitting. I am sorry the dog got sick on you. That's the worst. I ugess this will be your LAST tim ever fooling with a dog. LOL.

The Dreamy One said...

poor baby, it will soon be over

hang in there mami!!!

Kitty said...

Pobrecita! :(
You are too funny tho! I feel your pain. You just gave me a flashback tho.
How bout when I was a kid my mom dog sat for my uncle and his raggedy dog named Sheneneh (Yes, like from Martin) killed my kitten! Traumatic!!

Don't worry. Homegirl's dog will be gone soon and everything will be back to normal.

Sexxy Luv said...

I really feel bad for you, i DO NOT like dogs! i don't like any animals! when the kiddies start asking for a pet i got them a hermit crab! lol things have been going great with the 2nd one.....yea i said 2nd you can only imagine what happened to the first! lol

enjoy your day at the spa! :)

Sexxy Luv said...

@ Kyle, you dead wrong for that! LMAO

The F$%K it List said...

now I know you ain't talking Mrs. Have a good weekend on a Thursday. HAHAH.

Note to self PCD is the Castro of Blogging. HAHAh

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

@ bgg...i actually LOVE animals, but i wasn't prepared for such a needy one

@ kyle...oh my! i just know better now :-S

@ F-it...i really am convinced now that we are fish people. i like the idea of dogs, especially for kids, but i am NOT down for all of this work!

@ w0rd...lesson learned. the end is neeeeeeeeeeeear!! YAY!

@ jaded...i swear, they're like an added child with hair and grosser barf-BLEH!

@ pbw...ooooh, you and kyle are a mess!

@ nicole...ya know, its really not him, per se...he's not bad, like chewing up stuff or pooping in the house...its just his schedule and medical needs are overbearing and i'm too busy for this...plus he's vomitty..and thats just gross (altho im sure he cant help it)

@ dreamy...pray for my strength :-)

@ kitty...ok, i am soooooooooo mad at the name sheneneh-LOLOLOL!!

@ sexxy luv...i actually had a few of those and they're great! i loved getting them new painted shells...thanx for reminding me of them for later!

@ F-it...you know what? that dog had me so messed up that i thought thursday was friday!?!?! i went to post and read my weekend wishes so since i went out early, i figured-oh well! but that was truly an accident ;-)

arychtexas said...

lol....you know what SCPA would hunt you down lol....I just got a cat a couple weeks ago and we talking bout giving it to a pound b/c it scratches, bites, and runs around like a dog! Its a crack cat...

Sexxy Luv said...

You okay over here PCD?....making sure that bad doggy didn't tie you up and drop you off in the woods! lol

The F$%K it List said...

hmmm Its now Monday and you've taken two days. Is my laziness rubbing off hahahahahaha

Eb the Celeb said...

even though this was super disgusting... I still want me a puppy....(sigh)

PBW said...

Dog still there!?!?!

deonte' k said...

Lmao.... this was too funny!

Poor u. I hate when a dog screams lol.

aoc gold said...

The Star
(1)

Twinkle, twinkle, little star!

How I wonder what you are,

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky.

(2)

When the blazing sun is gone,

When he nothing shines upon,

Then you show your little light,

Twinkle, twinkle all the night.
(3)

The dark blue sky you keep

And often thro' my curtains peep,

For you never shut your eye

Till the sun is in the sky.

(4)

'Tis your bright and tiny spark

Lights the traveler in the dark;

Though I know not what you are
Twinkle, twinkle, little star!

-----by aoc power leveling