I Really WANT To Miss You...Kinda

*some pics NSFW*

the other day, a repeat of the dave chappelle show was on. it was the episode with charlie murphy and rick james...one of the funniest episodes ever! as i laughed like i'd never seen it before, i really felt a little blue. why? because i miss dave chappelle. i really miss him. his show was hilarious. his stand-up was super funny. and he even had great musical guests on his show. his comic relief was effortless. and i miss it.

the good thing is that while his exit from the spotlight seemed abrupt and early, he went out on a high note. he didn't wait until he dried up all of his funny juices and became utterly wack. he left lots of people wishing, hoping, praying, he'd come back...and i respect that ANY day over someone who doesn't know when to throw in the towel.

another example is the show Girlfriends. they were just snatched off of the air with no proper finale or farewell show. they left us hanging...and even tho i'm sure there were more politics involved rather than personal choice, the point is people were salty about their exit. we wanted them back. shoot, i still do.

now, on the other hand, there are some who reeeeeeeeeeeeally squeeze us for every drop of tolerance we have. they tap our wells of love dry, they abuse our well-wishes, they beat us over the head with propaganda that sometimes is lacking in quality...and me no likey. so i compiled a list of folks who i would like to see SIT DOWN....but the thing is, its not because they aren't talented (like tiffany "new york" pollard or ray-j), its just that they're doing too much. and i personally don't even get the chance to say, "wow, what happened to so-and-so? where've they been?" here goes:

BEYONCE: while i like her style, singing and her FIRST album, i feel like she really tries to force us to adore her. i know she wants to be an icon, but i'm sick of it. the last album made me barf, then the re-release was just pointless. now, the first album was insane. loved it! and now she's everywhere even when her "people" are trying to get their shine. sister solange was on some show, and they're asking beyonce how she feels about her and her new album. michelle has been trying to release her album for, like ever, and now beyonce is releasing not one, but TWO singles on the day michelle's album is scheduled to finally drop. thats shady to me. it's like, anything to distract from something or someone else....

HER HUBBY, JAY-Z: while he is a great rapper and has had great success, what is he, like 40 years old? are we trying to set some type of record? perhaps be the first geriatric rapper? and i thought he retired? altho i'm not a big fan of rap these days, if there is a great song that comes out, i give it its props, like nas...but i'd like to see jay-z get his complete grown man swag on and say peace to rapping. he's got the business aspect going, so no one's saying sit down and twiddle your thumbs....

RIHANNA: now before you bite my head off, i will say, i like rihanna a lot. i think she's cute, spunky and different. but let's face it, the pipes aren't all that. she has a gimmick, and its propelled her super stardom..but i would hate to see her ride it into the gutter. she's on top right now...but pushing the envelope too far when your talent is mediocre is risky.

LIL' WAYNE: ok, i get that you also have sold a kazillion records...but you're doing the t-pain. on EVERYBODY and their granny's song...and starting to sound mundane. not to mention, you are rumored to be addicted to cough syrup and who-knows-what-else and it's just not a good look. neither are you

MARIAH CAREY: madame, you're pushing 40 as well. and not only did this last album not live up to expectation, your style is remedial. i won't even discuss the fiasco of a wedding/husband you supposedly have...but to constantly have these butterfly/sparkly/micro-mini/high school fashion going on STILL is deplorable. i believe you should have evolved into a much more classy package, stop wearing the shades at night and focus on the music. i really think the pub stunt that was this marriage backfired and turned people off of this last album...gone are the days of Butterfly and Emancipation of Mimi-sigh

VIVICA A FOX: honey, i love me some aunt viv...but that show "Glam God" on vh1 is such a snooze, i'm ashamed she's affiliated with it. i know she probably needed the work, especially with how ridiculous Three Can Play That Game was...but this was not the move. and the funny wigs and sparkly outfits are just not working for me.

ICE-T: boo, what exactly is it that you do? i know you were a pioneer in the world of rap. but what are you doing now? all i see is you and the woman you call wife doing nasty and desparate acts in public. is that really your wife? you really don't care how you treat her in front of folks? she's really down for that mess? i just don't get it. are you all a traveling freak show? are you in a band? what gives?

NELLY: now, nelly...i just saw a commercial for your last album this morning. i had no idea! when did it come out? i never really was a fan of the music. simplistic nursery rhymes, cussing, bling-talk and chick dissing was never my cup of tea. but i did however become a fan of nelly the model. this is what i miss and think you should pursue. the rapping seems to be a rap sweetums

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now on the flip side, there are some folks who i wish i could see more of:

JILL SCOTT

NIA LONG

MAXWELL

D'ANGELO (pre-crack)

ISAIAH WASHINGTON

DON CHEADLE

SANAA LATHAN

TONI BRAXTON

***WHO'S ON YOUR LIST? REMEMBER DON'T PICK SOMEONE TO SIT DOWN BECAUSE THEY'RE WACK...PICK THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE GREAT-BUT JUST DOING TOO MUCH! WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MORE OF?***

The Neighbor Chronicles

so remember that incubus of a neighbor i told you about recently? the one with the dog who almost burnt down the joint cuz she's always locking herself out? the one closest to moi? when she sees me, she does complete 180s turning around to walk in the different direction. and for the most part, she seems to have gone into hiding. ask me if i care? as i told you, i petitioned almost everyone within the sound of my voice to sign a strong letter against her, urging her to follow the rules or suffer the guillotine!!! lol, ok...i'm joking about chopping her head off, but still, her dog ownership was in serious jeopardy if she continued to let that fleabag deficate everywhere. its pretty funny now, because now that i've identified her to so many folks, they will shout out of their windows or from their cars if they see her violating so shes always on the lamb-HA HA!!!! i think she should just do us all a favor, including herself, and M-O-V-E!





while that is a small victory, yet another "issue" has risen. another new neighbor. she is single with 2 huge, loud boys. i think she's an immigrant or something all i ever hear her say is "kalla kalla kaa" or something like that. she has this tricked out camry which is oh-so-ghetto and everyone just looks at her as she drives by. i swear, who screens these people? anyhoo, as they were moving in, i was growing more and more irritated. why does moving have to become a block party? can't you just take your things in and out? do you have to have family reunions and blaring music and beer? UGH! and i knew she was trifling because she didn't even have a moving truck...she had a small flatbed from Home Depot and stuff was falling off and people were risking lives trying to keep it on...between her 2 sons, two other dudes and herself...it was hilarious! but also discouraging...






but this is when she tore her drawls with PCD...she had been dragging things into her home for 2 days and she never spoke, waved or anything. thats cool with me because i'm not beat to be friends with everyone. i TRULY believe that everyone just simply does not mesh. so this day, lil PCD was asleep and there was a thunderous roar at our door. it was one of her handlers. some random man was knocking on our door like Bigfoot was after him. so my hubby went to the door and flung it open with the look of WTF plastered on his face. i was right behing him, eyebrows raised, lips curled and attitide full cocked! dude had the nerve to say..."hey man, we can't seem to get this couch in, can you help us?"





AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just stood back waiting to hear hubby's response...he was like, "look, my daughter's asleep. don't ever knock on my door like that again...and no i can't help you. we're busy. watch my wife's flowers when you head back." THE NERVE!?!?! so basically, they just spotted some other negroes and skipped over anyone who was closest to come knock on our door like we're fam or something. i HATE THAT!!! just because we may be shades of brown, we are NOT friends, family, cool, homies....so to assume we'd be like, "yeah bro, let's break out the 40s and have a grand ol' time" was ludicrous...and i was offended. do NOT speak to me just because you need something!! he wobbled his way off of our doorstep and miss lady (and her cohorts) has earned the top spot on MY LIST.





***WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CONVENIENT OR FAMILIAL KINDNESS???***

Movie Manners

UGH! this was the sound i made as i sat and tried to watch HANCOCK the other night. i always try NOT to sit relatively close to anyone and my mum and i had found the perfect seats, not too close, not too far, centrally located with people dispersed at a comfortable distance.





so of course, you could imagine my chagrin when a portly man who looked like he just rolled out of his bed wearing yesterday's clothes squeezed himself into MY aisle. he huffed and puffed and sat on down. then began his eating....*stomach turning* he crunched so loudly, and hand shuffled his candies like he was about to roll dice. then he'd turn the candy box upside down and shake them into his mouth making this rumbling noise....oh, and he'd hit the bottom of the box like a drum so as not to miss the most microscopic of crumbs. every time he did something, i'd just look at him like he was crazy. but it got worse!






he started burping...not belching, but BURPING! like a freight train...and it was continuous. after the 7th one, i was said, "REALLY? you're for real? this is a public theater, not your home!" his girlfriend sat up and looked at me like i was insane, but at this point i didn't care. if either one of them were gonna get tough, then whatever-whatever.



i am so sick of being at public places with nasty people. seriously, is it too much to ask that you act like you weren't raised by pigs for a couple of hours? like when me and lil PCD were at her music & dance class....two kids kept licking the drums that kids were trying to beat. they were so gross, lil PCD just backed up and stared at them like the hogs they were and gave up on trying to make music. and their mother was just chillin! not saying a word.....





***WHAT'S A RECENT NASTY OR RUDE ENCOUNTER YOU'VE HAD WITH SOMEONE OR AT SOME PLACE?***

To Gift Or Not To Gift...

morning everyone! your friendly neighborhood PCD is here and i'v got an opinion question of you all.




first let me say that i am an extraordinary gift giver, if i say so myself. i pride myself on taking real time to decided upon gifts that speak to the receiver, reflect their tastes and stand out. my gifts usually have multiple components and i always customize/personalize at least one of them. with that said, this aspect of my gift giving usually gets me in trouble. well, not literally...but trouble in the sense of being upset when people do not even think of me in the most basic of gift giving etiquette.





example...a college "friend" of mine was having a baby. we barely talk (or email) and only got reacquainted when she found out i was having a baby. we do not live in the same state. when it was almost time for the baby to be born, i got an invite to her baby shower. now of course, it was terribly (and shamelessly) a ploy for a gift because everyone knew full well i would not be attending the shower in 2 weeks from this far away. i mean, she's not my bff or anything. so while i started constructing my gift basket for her tike, i stopped dead in my tracks. when i had my baby i didn't get so much as an e-greeting saying congratulations. sure there were emails sent and they said how cute lil PCD was...but that really was just them being nosey wanting to see what she looked like. as i thought about it, i was bothered because people KNOW how much i put into gifts that i give. and i started to get angry. needless to say, i did not send a gift.





my decision bothered me because i actually enjoy giving gifts, especially for babies because i shop at boutiques for one-of-a-kind items a lot. i like to give things no one else will have given at the party (like what happened at my shower, i got 3 of the same thing-bleh!). i love to see that people's faces or hear their reactions. i take a lot of time finding things to comprise the gift so i really like hearing that the receiver likes it. now as of last week, i found out another "friend" just got engaged. she didn't even tell me...i found out on facebook and it was verified by word-of-mouth. now all of the sudden, i get an invite to the bridal shower...again, we are not in the same state, and she's bff's with the other person i just mentioned.





or like my cousin who i mentioned in previous posts...when my baby turned one, you'll never guess what she got her. she got a pair of jeans and a plain white long sleeved shirt. i understand that people's taste vary, but COME ON! but the kicker was that when i went to return it to the store, there was no gift receipt or tags so i had to ask her where it came from. she says target. so why when i went to guest service did they tell me that they only cost $3.30!?!?! TOGETHER!!! both items were on clearance and they cost THREE FRIGGIN DOLLARS???? and of course, for her babys b-day, i got her a basket with learning toys, an ABC caterpillar, a dress, some books, stuffed animals and had balloons tied to the handles


i'm like-WHY!?!? why do people think i'm so dumb? the sweet side of me wants to send something anyway cuz like i said, i love shopping for gifts, especially ones that stand out. but why should i? i'm starting to alter my thinking to the ideal that people should receive gifts from me because they "deserve" it, not just because i like giving them...

i struggle with this because i do not have (active) fair-weather relationships in my life. i just don't function like that. sure, people try to pull me into their fake associations, but i do not treat people like that. if we don't talk on a regular or semi-regualr basis, then don't reach out to me when its your birthday or wedding. i think that's fake. if when i got married and had my baby, you were only there to email your nosey picture requests, then don't send me invites to your crap in hopes of a gift. even someone really close to me is like that with their family...they don't talk unless its a holiday or event like birthday or someone's party. who DOES THAT?





***DO YOU THINK I'M BEING HARSH BY NOT SENDING GIFTS TO THESE LADIES? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BLATANTLY USED JUST SO YOU CAN GET SOMEONE SOMETHING OR DO SOMETHING FOR THEM? HOW'D YOU REACT? SHARE...***

What Do You Do When...

....a public figure you or your children enjoy do something inappropriate? i know we are all human and make mistakes....but there is something about public figures that bothers me....while a lot of them deny wanting to be role models, the truth is, it comes with the territory so you have to take the good with the bad (if being a role model is considered bad). personally i don't think it's a bad deal...you get paid millions of dollars to have your face flung everywhere. you are thrust into the public....so to ask people not to fully observe what you do is silly.

anyhoo, i ask this because i am tired of the war going on over r. kelly and hanna montana. once r. kelly was even suspected of having sex with a child, i could no longer shake my bootay to his songs. no, i don't know him and vice versa...but in my heart of hearts, that is a serious crime and there seemed to be some pretty damning evidence to support this claim. and even tho it took 6-7 years to put him on trial, it just never was the same. now, if for some reason he is cleared of these charges 100%, then cool. until then, the fact that you are even associated with such filth is something i cannot support.

now on to hanna montana...my baby is a little too young to undertsand the hysteria surrounding this ordinary looking girl who wears a blond wig and sings rock songs. BUT there are MANY little girls who are enamored with her. and it seems as if this 15 years old child has a problem acting and looking 15....in the past year, she has been under fire at LEAST 4 times for inappropriate pictures and looks.

if my kid DID love hanna montana, it'd be a problem. i cannot contribute to her soon-to-be billion dollar empire when she is insisting on being the next britney spears. hey, to each his own! do what you do! but neither me nor mine will support inappropriate behavior...even when you are on your time. little kids do not understand that you were at home just "playing." they just see hanna montana.

(some) adults are not bothered by the looming possibility of r. being a disgusting pedophile because they like his tunes (lest we forget his marriage to aaliyah at 15 yeras of age)....but with me, it's all or nothing. and because you are a public figure, even what you do off stage is our "business", for lack of a better word.

think of it this way......if you had a great friend, and it was discovered they had a sex tape with a child, urinating on them and such...would you still have them over for tea and crumpets? at least until they were cleared of all charges? would you cotinue to let your kids go play at their house?

or if your kid had a friend that was as sweet as cherry pie, yet dressed like a slut, always bearing her mini-breasts and bra and taking pictures in her panties, laying in beds with boys along with locking tongues with girlfriends, would you continue to let your child have sleepovers with them? hmmmmmmmmmmmm....

***PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS ONE....***

No Love At Dinnertime

ok guys...i know i can be quite the etiquette snob sometimes. i admit this. but i DO feel there are some things that are just inexcusable. as a young whippersnapper, i was raised to always be polite when at someone's house, especially if they prepared dinner. i was raised to eat whatever i was offered without the "ewwwwwwwwwww" and "i don't like that" unless it was something outrageously different like pig's feet or something. for instance, the first time i tried okra, i had never heard of it and i certainly did not enjoy the slimy texture, but the few little fried green monsters did not kill me. i just held my breath and swallowed...no biggie!

oh, but now as an adult, i take a little more offense to foods that are prepared when i am an invited guest. let's speak from my point of view...if i'm having a party or an event, i will usually take some type of inventory as to what people eat/like/enjoy. i will not serve solely according to my tastes and i will usually choose pretty neutral or calmer versions of dishes. WHY!?! because everyone does not like everything doused in hot sauce like you, or covered in salt, or topped with octopus. its just a consideration in my opinion.

so lately, i've run into some (imo, inconsiderate) hosts who have served me some of the most disgusting dishes EVER! and you'd never guess what they were...on one occasion it was macaroni and cheese and the other was lamb. what was the issue with these? well the mac and cheese had SUGAR in it. so much sugar that you couldn't even taste the cheese. this was an occasion where i had to politely cover my plate with my napkin and toss that crap. EVERYONE was wondering about the sweetness and finally someone asked why was it so sweet? the host said, i like sugar in my mac and cheese. um, YOU like that mess. that is not a "common" staple in the dish...its something you added cuz you have an 'interesting' palette...but by no means should you be serving it to a bunch of people. i understand adding a twist, but is it hard to keep the twist along the lines of the original recipe like perhaps adding another type of cheese to it...maybe a differet type of pasta besides the elbow macaroni....

then there was lamb. what irked me the most was that the host asked everyone if they liked lamb. i do not. well, lamb was prepared along with some other things so i wasn't tripping, until i saw they drowned a number of dishes in the lamb gravy. ok, if everyone does not enjoy lamb, why pour the juices on stuff? and it was bland to boot!!!!! UGH! so that blocked out an extra two dishes because they were sporting lamb cologne.

i really don't feel like i am being a prude on this one. i mean, who wants to have a party and have everyone complaining or tossing their food? or leaving hungry because you either did not have a diverse menu or considerations for other tastes? so unlike my childhood, i no longer stifle the disapproval that erupt from gross food. and while i won't stand up and throw my plate on the floor and make a scene...i will however, make a mental note of this occasion *hint, hint*

***WHAT HAS SOMEONE SERVED YOU THAT WAS SO GROSS OR OFF-THE-WALL THAT COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD IF THEY WEREN'T PLAYING SELFISH CHEF? DO YOU THINK PCD WAS RUDE TO NOT EAT THE DISHES? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN EXCITED TO EAT SOMETHING THAT LOOKED GOOD, BUT WHEN YOU BIT INTO IT, YOU DISCOVERED AN "EXTRA" INGREDIENT"? SHARE...........***

***amendment*** ok, i feel like this is right up the alley of what today's topic is. so my daughter had a play-date scheduled for today. and while the mother totally ruined what i had in mind, i agreed to still continue. i rearranged to oblige her suggestion and she JUST called to cancel. things happen...thats cool. but she literally called and said "i'm cancelling for today."

there was no explanation, no apology, no suggestion for a reschedule and i'm HOT! is it too much to say, "i need to cancel for today because i am really running behind with my other errands, and i'm sorry for calling at the 12th hour, but maybe we can do something on monday." IS THAT HARD? what is with the rudeness these days? i mean, you are being very last minute, but to top it off like that is so uncalled for. i'm at my limit with this mess....PCD is about to bloooooooooow!!

Black or Right?

i am bothered that i am even at this crossroad...but i am having to decide (yet again) whether to try and support black or just get what i need done and handled properly. let's back up....





i used to be so bothered when i would drive through different neighborhoods and see how different cultures have pulled together to create businesses, and lifestyles from their own people, for their own people and with their own people. not bothered because of this...but bothered because rarely do i see clusters of black businesses and such. i USED TO be one to seek out black business with the intent of keeping my dollars black. i wanted to support. i wanted to enrich. i wanted to help upbuild those who had the foresight and ambition to start a business. i USED TO.





most of the time, i end up feeling like i'm trying so hard to befriend or support someone who doesn't care or even want to be bothered...like, I'M INFRINGING ON THEIR TIME AND RESOURCES WHEN SEEKING SERVICES FROM THAT INDUSTRY WHETHER IT BE FOOD, CUSTOMER SERVICE OR SPECIALIZED. i had a string of run-ins with bad attitudes when trying to spend my money. i ran into shotty jobs and half-done projects that took too long. i ran into a kitchen project that actually ended with me walking into my home to find a crew member taking a poop in my toilet and leaving potato chip bags on my bathroom floor. i decided to forget actively seeking black businesses and just go with the most professionally and appropriate candidate for whatever i needed at that time.





but every now and then i see where i can dip my foot back into the pool of black businesses....and as of late, i am regretting that i did. all i want is a dance class. i just want to enroll in a new dance class close to my home that has the dance style i'm interested in, a schedule that's flexible and is reasonably priced. i found one. it's owned and run by black women. i've reached out to them three times...once by email and twice by phone . i have YET to hear back from them. i need confirmation of very basic information....that being scheduling, price and such. i would also like a tour or to just peek in on a class in action. simple right? WRONG! it's been two weeks and i am livid!!!! mainly because this place is so conveniently close to my home that i really don't want to even look for another place. i almost felt like i would deal with whatever else just so i didn't have to go far. but i can't even get someone to answer the phone....let alone return a message or email.





it's turned me off in the worst way. i mean, while a dance class isn't a huge issue...it's something i was really wanting to do and while i am in the process of developing my summer schedule, i need to know my real options and obligations. and i believe whole-heartedly that you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. the impression i have now is terrible and i just wonder WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!?!





***DO YOU PURPOSELY TRY TO BUY OR SUPPORT BLACK BUSINESSES? HAVE YOU HAD ISSUES WITH THIS? WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE IT "BLACK" OR "RIGHT"?***

Jimmy Crack Corn & I DO Care

i LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the spring. actually i love the fall, but i enjoy the temperate season of spring before it becomes ridiculously hot too. and around this time, the birds begin singing, flowers fragrance the air and the sun shines brightly...letting me and others know it's safe to bring out......sandals & flip-flops. but i must know, what are your thoughts about feet on display?

(i blew up the pic so it may appear a little blurry, but in case you can't see, there are 4 corns on each foot, one on the second toe, two on the middle, and one on the fourth on BOTH feet. and while her corns aren't burnt or discolored, they are very visible and crunchy looking, AND holding onto dear life over the edge of that shoe!)

i came across this picture on ybf and i couldn't believe my eyes! i know some people just have some messed up feet. some pople can't help it. some may have been dancers. some may not have been able to afford shoes that fit properly. some are just trifling. but whatever the reason, i cannot understand the need to expose the public to raggedy feet. and what bothered me about this picture is this....

she's so beautiful. this is singer keri hilson and i cannot believe that the corn display was actually cool with her. i am not discriminatory about feet. like i said, some people just have odd looking feet, but why primp them up in beautiful louboutin heels with a fabulous dress and cameras flashing? now, some people are obsessed with feet and i find that weird, but i ask, does it bother you to see some less-than-sightly feet paraded around? do you think she should have just picked a different shoe....or continued on with a french pedicure like nothing's even crackled/distorted/corntastic in the toe region? does her cuteness and the pedicure distract from the corn convention? personally, i vote for a different shoe....complete with corn pads dissolving those suckers so that they could be displayed at a later date without burning a hole in my retina...

***THOUGHTS!?!***

Thy Quirks Shall Not Offend Others

i watch the real housewives of new york city on the bravo channel. i enjoy it because its funny watching these ladies scramble to outdo one another scene after scene. if you watch it, then you may agree that the NY cast seems a bit more fake than the orange county cast. they just seem like they are trying hard to impress people.



anyhoo, there's one couple, alex and simon. (alex is the blond on the right. she NEVER looks that polished-lol) they are trying to move upward into more social circles and network with more affluent people. what irks me about this couple is a laundry list of things. they try really hard to appear ultra-riche, very cultured, and fashionable snobbish. but what doesn't add up is the wife NEVER seems to comb/brush her hair. and she also wears a lot of dressy shirts with blue jeans that have no business being paired together, like a yellow, black & white sleeveless shirt with super-blue jeans. it just looks odd.



but what is the weirdest of all is her husband, simon. he is obsessed with clothes, including women's clothes...so much so that he ALWAYS goes shopping with alex. when they are heading out somewhere, he picks out her outfit. alex and simon try very hard to force their closeness down everyone's throats. they go everywhere together...EVERYWHERE...because as they say, they're each other's best friend, are in love and have a good marriage.


what i find bothersome about that is one does not equal the other...meaning, you can have a good marriage and be in love, but that doesn't mean you have to become siamese twins. this particularly annoyed me because one thing that peeves me more than anything else is when someone else's quirks/preferences/lifestyle/ignorance choices are pushed into my space. in one episode the ladies met up at a fashion show and alex had simon lagging behind her. the other ladies were so shocked because no one else's husband had accompanied them...and then he sat behind them and started giving alex a massage while she was chatting with the other ladies.



but what took the cake was the latest ep! one of the ladies organized a ladies night dinner. when alex was called and invited, she specifically asked if she could bring her husband. the ladies joked with her saying that if he wore a cocktail dress, he could come. i understood the joke because when you are asked so mething so dumb, it catches you off guard...but you don't want to be rude and just blurt out "NO you friggin bloke! its a bloody LADIES NIGHT!" so you try to take the light-hearted way out. well, alex gets off of the phone and proceeds to tell simon that they were invited to a girls night and the ladies didn't vehemently insist that he shouldn't come. she actually showed up with him to a dinner that was supposed to be for 5 women. one of the ladies freaked out and left, of course after making some choice comments.








i brought this up to say that while they were offended by her reaction, their action was the first offense. i despise when people almost force you to appear snobby/mean/pushy when they insist on shoving their lifestyle or preferences into everyone else's space. just because alex wants to be joined at the hip with her husband, not everyone else does. and it was so rude of her to even ASK if she could "bring" him after hearing it was a ladies night. the explanantion that you go everywhere together is not enough. and if you can't bare to be without him for a few hours, then don't come.




i've been put in some situations similar to this...where my answer either offended others or i ended up pissed off because i didn't give my true answer out of not wanting to hurt the other person.



EXAMPLE: i was invited to a wedding. it was at a home. the young lady and i were not close but we were cool. i showed up dressed to the nines, i believe i was wearing a black suit. anyhoo, as soon as i walked in, i was ushered into the kitchen and asked to prepare the wedding cake. WTF!?!?!?! the WEDDING CAKE!?!?!?! they said, "well, you're an artist so you could probably do it." HUH??? artist and baker are two totally different things. i was furious! i was not dressed for this, not to mention, this girl and i were not THAT cool. but i took my jacket off and started to stack and ice this cake because i felt sorry that this girl's relatives were ruining what was supposed to be a special day. i was pissed, but i let my woman feelings take over and i did it anyway, but i shouldn't have. no one even thanked me.



on the flip side, when i got married, we had an all-white wedding. we asked everyone who was invited to wear white. my wedding was in the dead of summer so it was not going to be hard to find something white if you didn't already have something. being that it was outdoors, i was not expecting people to show up in complete tuxedos and evening gowns...just something tasteful and white. i made it plain that if you did not wear white you would have to sit in another section until the reception. well, someone showed up in head-to-toe peach. i immediately dismissed her via an usher. she respected my request and left to navigate the town and bought something white, then returned. she claimed not to know about the attire. but what was odd was her date was the best man....how could you not know? but she didn't get ugly, she just threw on her white and sat behind some bushes.



now, on the flip/flip side....when i had my baby shower, only women were invited. all invites were addressed to the WOMAN, not the family, not the couple, but the woman. (this is the first rule of etiquette...pay attention to how invitations are addressed to avoid awkward conversations) on the day of, one invited guest calls my mum and TELLS her "they're" running late, but we'd see all of them soon. the "them" she spoke of was herself, her husband and her FOUR CHILDREN. um, are you kidding? the nerve of her!!!! just because you like to make family outings out of everything, everyone else does not want to be subjected to your 1,2, AND 3 year old toddlers ripping, running and screaming everywhere. they also have an 11 year old. so i had my hubby call and shut it down. (it was his cousin) she got an attitude and said no one was coming then. then she said she'd mail my baby's gift. um, my daughter's 16 months old now...still haven't gotten that gift.




***so i'm not even going to ask my pretty circle family if you would be so rude as to insist on disrupting the vibe of an event for you personal comfort. i know you guys would never!...but i will ask, when have you been put out by someone's quirk or request? WHO ASKED YOU SOMETHING THAT WAS CONSIDERED OFFENSIVE BECAUSE IT AS ALL ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL COMFORT INSTEAD OF THE GROUP DYNAMIC? HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT? ARE YOU MORE LIKELY TO TRY AND FIND A WAY TO ACCOMMODATE THEIR REQUEST OR STICK TO THE AGENDA, REGARDLESS OF THEIR REACTION? SPILL IT...........***

Image...Schmimage

first let me say that my holiday was grrrrrrrrrreat! i'm not gonna do a play-by-play but i will share a pic of the beautiful clouds from the plane and a pic of le bebe. she is the highlight of my life...and she had a blast, shaping the mind even on vacay.




now, i wanted to pose a question....how important is image? rhetorically speaking, what do you look for/care about within an image? is it the look of youth, a thin physique, a shapely image, light/dark skin? for instance, a celebrity by the name of mariah carey has taken her image waaaaaaaaaay too far, imho.






i understand that she is an artist, therefore she is a product...but at what level does reality shine through? take for instance this recent promo photo of her. her new album has dropped, so the flood of appearances and photos have been jammed into public eye-space. but, what is UP with this pic here? she is so photoshopped that she doesn't look real, let alone look like herself. there's not a line in sight, no sape to her knees or ankles, everything is brushed plastic smooth like a mannequin and her skin seems to be tinted, almost like she's going for a sun-kissed look, but just looks brown. i wonder, what is this about? why is she so obsessed with looking like an ageless perfect thing? then she goes and actually says...


"I'm eternally 12. And that 12-year-old inside me is an eternal optimist. Honestly, I don't even have birthdays."
"I call them anniversaries. It really is about how young you feel. Some people convince themselves they are old, or they think, 'I have to grow up now.' I will still always choose a day at Disney World over a night in Las Vegas. That's who I am."

Mariah Carey doesn't have birthdays. According to the "Shake It Off" singer, she refuses to acknowledge her birthdays because getting old doesn't really sit well with her.
Carey has banned the word "birthday" and refers to them instead as "anniversaries." She says she prefers to think of herself as a child who will never grow up.

(pic from a while ago)

i feel you on having a positive outlook, but the 12-year-old thing has played itself out in other ways besides taking trips to disney world...(and by the way, when have you seen a pic of her at disney world? every time i've seen pap shots of her on holiday, she's frolicking on some exotic beach or yacht-lol) also, i could tell she was stuck in the kiddie phase from all of the butterflies she still clings to. that just irks me.

(an older pic)

what 38 year old woman walks around wearing butterfly rings with wings that actually flutter, all kinds of butterfly paraphernalia and wearing dresses that would fit my baby? be sexy & be daring if you wish...however, i also believe in the art of getting your grown woman/man on...even as an artist or entertainer, you CAN acheive beauty within the barriers of your age bracket. i'm certainly NOT hating because i really enjoy a good number of mariah songs. i even enjoyed the movie "glitter" (stop laughing). and i understand the concept of preserving your sexy...but when is too much truly too much?

(pic from a few days ago)

when you start wearing butterflies and banning the word "birthday", or when you start calling yourself peter pan & build amusement parks in your backyard, or when you implant a plastic booty to appear more voluptuous, or rendering yourself unrecognizable from your former self???? and i won't even get started on the diva image she's projected....having people to hold her fan directly on her, or allegedly hold her straw when she's drinking, a full glam squad that follows her and tweaks her during breaks to a ridiculous level. i don't get that. i know she's a mega-star...but where is the line between fame/fortune/excess? i guess i understand the need/desire to tweak some things about appearance, especially if you are a celeb, but when do you draw the line? my real issue with mariah is all of the excess isn't even necessary...she's in fabulous shape, she's gorgeous and does not appear 38, especially when she's made up but also when she's not...so the over-airbrushing and photoshopping just makes her look...silly, and uncessarily so.

take note from erykah badu about how to be successful in the music industry...she's on point! (language ma be slightly offensive)

genius!-LOL

****WHAT DO YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT REGARDING PHYSICAL IMAGE? WHAT IRKS YOU ABOUT SOMEONE'S PHYSICAL IMAGE? DROP A NAME, A TREND OR WHATEVER THAT BOTHERS YOU ABOUT THE VANITY OF SOCIETY OR CELEBRITIES****