I Met The Browns...And I Wish I Hadn't

THE PRETTY UGLY SPOTLIGHT: MEET THE BROWNS

so you could probably tell by the title that i recently saw tyler perry's "meet the browns" and was really disappointed. i don't even know why i expected something great...maybe it's because it pulled in 20 million on it's opening weekend...maybe it's because some part of me really wants tyler perry to be successful. maybe i just was happy to get out of the house without baby tied to my hip. regardless, this movie has to be his worst-BY FAR!!!

so for those who have seen it, let's go thru it, bit by bit. if you haven't, please do not let me deter you. anyhoo, all of tyler's madea-laden plots are all the same - down and out, weary and worn black woman (usually abused in some way)....dashingly handsome man comes in on shiny white horse...he saves the day...they fall in love...madea makes you laugh...all is well in the world.

and i was willing to roll with this....but with "meet the browns," the goal of realism wasn't even attempted. and that made me mad! angela bassett played (i forgot her name) with 3 kids and 3 baby daddies. (what's up with this theme of sad black mums and trifling black dads?) in the first movie, the main character didn't have any children, but her husband fathered 2 secret kids outside of their marriage with his mistress. in the second, that chick had 2 kids by 2 men and was so down on her luck, she had to live with madea. now in this one, there are 3....and of course, they are dirt poor living in chicago projects alongside her very loud and inappropriately dressed, bi-polar latina friend. this friend was so streotypically wack, it was painful, in every outfit, her breasts were spilling out...and she hardly ever matched. she was crazy too...i mean coo-coo for coco puffs crazy! angela loses her job and the lights get cut off. they barely have any food to eat.

by chance, angela's father dies and someone sends her some bus tickets to come down to georgia for his funeral. when she gets there, she is greeted by her 'family', most of who are sweet...but jenifer lewis (vera) is a spitfire. *unrealistic item # 1* angela's uncle picks them up from the bus station with his daughter. once everyone is back at the house, vera looks at this woman (her neice) and asks who she is and who her mother is. she replies madea. you mean to tell me that a woman doesn't know her very grown neice OR who her mother is? how does your brother have a child and you don't bother to inquire about this until she's about 35? nonetheless, everyone discovers that their father used to be a pimp. (again, with the crappy black man image) also, the uncle has a knack for dressing in really nutzy colors and patterns, presumably from another era. i found myself literally frowning at him when he was on screen...feeling kinda like...

enter rick fox. he's so handsome, he's un-handsome - if that makes sense. his looks are too nice. nonetheless, he automatically falls for angela and wants to help her basketball playing son make the most of his sporting ability for the sheer joy of helping in abnormally grandiose ways. long story short, the pimp father leaves angela an old, beaten-down house. the house is so unlivable, angela discards it like trash. fast forward, angela and her kids go back to chicago with a fist full of cash from madea's daughter. *unrealistic iten # 2* she never seems to get another job....or steadily trying to achieve some type of stability. obviously, the money wasn't going to last too long, because she goes crawling to her son's father begging for money. he refuses her. then later, he randomly shows up at her door being very nice. he offers to give her some money in exchange for sex. the son walks in and is angered. after baby-daddy # 1 leaves, the son vows to pull his family out of the bowels of poverty by................you guessed it, running with the wrong crowd to sell drugs. but wait, handsome chases him down in the street to warn him of the bad choice he is making.

SIDEBAR::::: i have an issue with sons feeling like they have to rescue their mothers and siblings from destitution. it is not a child's place to have to worry about how to survive and drag his family along. this came up on eb the celeb's relationship week forum. it bothers me because some of these men-children get locked into that 'gotta-save-them' mentality and it causes problems in future relationships for lack of the ability to let go. and of course, this child's desire to 'save them' ends up getting him shot.

*unrealistic item #3* as i said the son realized he made a bad choice, and when he went to tell his drug dealing friend he was out, some tough guy rolls up and just starts shooting. well, miraculously, he's not critically injured....but the next time you see him after being released from the hospital...was on the basketball court. WTH!?!?! could he at least have struggled thru some rehab? maybe limped around for a bit?

well, handsome comes lurking around again and he and angela begin dating. then out of nowhere (and during ledisi's song "alright') they move back to georgia, where handsome has managed to restore her beat up house into a fabulous new work of beauty, along with some donations from the church. *unrealistic item # 4* she stills has no job or monetary assistance, yet sustains this fabulous new life. handsome and angela have a spat and stop speaking. son gets drafted into the basketball league AND gets to take college courses. angela realizes her and handsome's spat was just a misunderstanding....they literally kiis and make up....next and last scene is their wedding. *unrealistic items # 5, until....* handsome mentioned having 3 kids, they never appear. madea makes a cameo on the news as she's trying to elude the cops in a high speed chase.....what was the point? it was so "out of nowhere." and that daughter of hers had the worst fake emotion when madea was seemingly being captured by the police. and i'm still trying to figure out WHAT MAN on this green earth would pay to have a woman's house completely refurbished when they are not even in a committed relationship? i mean he took that house from death and turned it into a house suited for "better homes & gardens.". all of this went on while she was in chicago before and during they even started semi-dating. then they "broke up" he just tucks his tail in between his legs and goes on about his business until she realized they fought over something dumb?

the movie was a M-E-S-S!!!!! i am so bothered because i know tyler perry has made a skillion dollars off of his creation madea. and once he proved he could dish out some entertaining stuff, he was just handed opportunity after opportunity, but the quality has gone into the toilet (please don't get me started on the atrocity of "house of payne" on tbs)

i want him to be successful...but at what expense? the parallel images he's portraying are offensive and they're not even funny. i can personally overlook SOME offensive stuff if i can charge it to humor (a la dave chappelle) but this mess never made me crack a smile...at least not when i was supposed to. i found myself laughing at all the wrong times, like when son miraculously recovered, or when angela and handsome got married. i'm sure other movie patrons thought i was nuts.....but i am really upset at this.

******WHAT ARE OUR THOUGHTS? IF YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIE, WHAT DID YOU THINK? IF YOU HAVEN'T, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF TYLER PERRY'S MATERIAL PRIOR TO THIS? SPEAK ON IT..........*********

BET Is Trying To Kill Me

The Pretty Ugly Spotlight::: BET
*blogger is acting like quite the fool this morning-grrrrrrrrr!*

i guess i should make a formal announcement....i hate BET! i am really disappointed with the choice of programming and since debra lee has become the new shot-caller, i've been even more disgusted. there is an overflow of foolishness on that channel and its really out of control. last week, i was talking to my friend on the phone and she told me to turn it to BET and look at the new season of collge hill. i don't know how far in the season the episodes are, but i was really disgusted by the level of craziness going on.




college hill is a debacle if i've ever seen one. they put a bunch of college kids in a mansion. provide them with sex potions and creams, make the boys and girls share bedrooms and film everything. so what do you think will happen with young guys and gals sleeping in the same room with plenty of alcohol and freaky creams and juices flowing about? exactly....a hot, disgusting, over-sexed, irresponsible mess!

the girls seem to have a problem speaking in regular voices...meaning, they scream and yell a lot. (this is just one of my peeves. i hate to see black women portraying themselves as these savages yelling and acting out with no class. it makes them look like...yeah you know...angry, black blankety-blanks.....whatever happened to the days when ladies spoke in inside voices, crossed their legs when they sat down and displayed some mystery when it came to the opposite sex?) the guys seem to have one thing on their minds-sex. there is even an episode where they invite a bunch of strippers over and procede to throw $1 bills from the staircase and all over the room while these young "ladies" shake what their mothers gave them. i find myself asking-what is the point to this? i have yet to com eup with an answer.


another one of the shows that particularly made my gag reflex go into overdrive was keyshia cole: the way it is.




i have not seen the entire season(s) and i would never want to. the few episodes i have witnessed put me into a state of shock. imo, when does keeping it real truly go wrong?? well, i say this occurs in keyshia's show. there was so much dirty laundry being aired, i really couldn't stand to bear witness to it. some have argued that the struggles the family endured (most self-inflicted) could help someone but i don't understand how. there was infidelity, crack-smoking, incarceration, alcoholism, pregnancy outside of a marriage, abortion issues, and heaps of fighting, cursing and shouting at each other. i prayed they would not air another season.

well, there isn't another season being aired (yet) but BET did have a 'reunion' show with the family...which i found odd because they are all involved in each other's lives heavily so how is that a reunion? well, i guess they meant reuniting the family with the viewers? anyhoo, keyshia's sister neffetiria made me lose it. her thoughts seemed cloudy, she dodged questions and she kept saying "are you seeeeeeeeeeeeeerious? like are you seeeeeeeeeeeerious?" then out came frankie, keyshia's mom. the former felon and crack abuser. and the antics went up about 25 notches.

i do not find anything inspiring about this display. i don't understand the purpose of the show. it makes me sad actually. and you can call me a prude if you like, but i just feel like you don't have to put everything out there. some things can be kept to yourself...and i wish keyshia cole and crew would have. oh, and her sister neffetria was pregnant on the show by some random drug-abusing dude that is not her husband. she scheduled an appointment for an abortion...well, come to find out, she kept the baby. it's a boy....and his name is jaylen weelove cole. weelove...marinate on that. yes, weelove.

no, i'm not kidding.


*****WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON BET? ALSO, I IMPLORE YOU...IF YOU HAVE A SPARE 19 MINUTES, PLEASE WATCH THIS EPISODE OF THE BOONDOCKS SATIRIZING BET. AT LEAST WATCH THE FIRST 5 MINUTES IF YOU CAN'T WATCH THE WHOLE THING.****

*i didn't know cartoons cursed-lol, so beware, there is cursing in this*

The Pretty Ugly Spotlight: Lying Whores Shouldn't Go On TV

this is so hilariously desperate and sad that i don't even feel bad...at least not for the hooker of a woman in the clip......watch below




now, who i DO feel for is that humiliated, betrayed and obviously unappreciated husband of hers. her family as well...the look on her mother's face is priceless. now, this goes back to the plies video i posted a few days back. it really baffles me what people will do ON TELEVISION for money and/or exposure. now for those who are unaware, this is a new show called "moment of truth." basically, you sit in a hot seat and take a lie detetor test. the catch is it takes a few questions answered truthfully to even advance higher in the money pool...but if you get just ONE wrong (i.e. if you lie) you lose everything. foolish are you if you think the questions won't be humiliating, degrading and shameful. your family watches as you decide to take the money you have earned thus far or if you want to answer more probing questions for more cash.

the ironic part about this epsiode is that this woman outed herself as a cheating whore, a thief and an emotional betrayer....but blew it when asked if she thought she was a good person. HA! retribution! i am truly confused as to why she would actually think she is a good person, but more importantly, this goes to show you, what you think tv and money can get you can sometimes add up to a bunch of nothing. good luck keeping your husband, lady!

The Pretty Ugly Spotlight: B*tch is The New Black

it is blatant who tina fey supports as the presidential democratic nominee...but i am a bit put off by her approach. first things first, i am disturbed by the phrase "bitch is the new black." not because i don't understand the usual intention of the phrase...being that to suggest that *blank* is super popular and practically a staple at this point....like the "little black dress." i've heard it before regarding other colors, "pink is the new black" or whatever color seems to be the hottest at the time. or in other arenas of comparison like "30 is the new 20." ok, i get that.

and you can call me conventional if you want, but i do not feel that the word "b*tch" is an appropriate reference, even in the jovial sense, regarding something as arduous and pressing as the presidential nomination race or its nominees. i say this because some people do not know when enough is enough when joking. you start calling her "b*tch" in a public forum and saying its empowering, then what might someone call obama or mccain and try to justify it by a weak line of "i'm just joking!" or "i didn't mean it like that." (hence the entire n-word debate) aside from this, what i do not get is the implied suggestion of race in this clip of "b*tch is the new black." moreso by the blond than tina fey, her hand/arm gestures seemed contrived and suggestive of quote/unquote blackness....like all she had to do was cross a couple of fingers and she would have been screaming "westsiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!"

in that regard "black" stopped being a color about a dress or any other popular garment or accessory and it became about skin color...and who might that be a quick, slick shot at? hmmmmm, let's see....possible the only black candidate ever to give a white candidate (a woman no less) a run for her money, especially after it was assumed she would bury him after the super tuesday contests.

again, the race jab was cleverly and quickly inserted into someone's diatribe about why mrs. clinton is the right candidate. i have no qualms about those who choose to support mrs. clinton, but i do wonder why the low-blows and desparate attacks on things such as race, gender, religion and schoolyard tactics like whining about pillows, plagiarism, question order and of course tears are being used as a way to justify her race (or presumed self-entitlement)<<< ok, that was a jab-lol!

what do you think?

p.s. just so you know, "the pretty ugly spotlight" is the opposite of "the pretty spotlight" in that it does not shine on pretty things, but is a light shone on foolishness. "the pretty spotlight" is the opposite.

The Pretty Ugly Spotlight: Cindy McCain

who'd a thought that a woman who was once addicted to pills, has committed theft and was once the chick-on-the-side could possibly be the first lady of the united states of america? i mean, we all have pasts and trials that occur in our lives...but this is better than a soap opera script. while she has toiled away her time trying to bury her past in good works, it still makes me warm and fuzzy knowing that cindy mccain is just as real as anyone else...pills and all (sniggle)