Sunday, March 9, 2008

Pretty Esteem: Don't Hate ME Cuz My Cup Runneth Over

i am so bothered right now...as of late, i've encountered a number of new and shall we say, diverse people. most of them were extremely different than i...especially on the exterior. now i must say, i am not one to toot my own horn...but BEEP BEEP!!! PCD is fabulous from head to toe. but i will also admit that it was a long, hard road to fabulousness. nonetheless, i am bothered by the lack of esteem in other women, and their projection of said emotions onto me and my fabulosity.


when around new people or acquaintances, i would never say hurtful things about one's appearance (even if i'm thinking it) and i don't feel the need to comment on details about others' personal style choices. case in point, a young lady who i had just met was accompanying me and my friend out on the town. we were all getting dressed and everything i did quickly came under fire. "look at your dress!" "i never dress up like that." "oooh, you're putting on make-up?" "you're so fabulous" "you're wearing heels? can you wear flats around us cuz we're short?" "you're so diva" "i can't take pictures like that" "oh my gosh! even your lipstick is fabulous" "are you always like this?" "you should be on the Real Housewives of Orange County for whatever county you live in." "if people saw you on that show, i'd say 'yes, she really is like that."


and the more she commented, the more disdain she had in her tone. her constant acknowledgments of my fabulosity became more and more of an insult than a compliment. and after about 2.5 hours of her diarrhea mouth, i quietly sat back and assessed her situation. now, as i said, i am fabulous from head to toe...but anyone can be fabulous if they put forth the effort. there is no one recipe, no one look, no definition...you just need to work it! but if you are already lagging behind and you don't know how to work it, then sometimes you target those who are. this young lady was 7 inches shorter than i and weighed probably 50-65 pounds more than me. she is older and was shall we say, financially embarrassed at the present time-ESPECIALLY given where we were hanging out. her look was tired (she asked to use my makeup)...her clothes were ill-fitted, and all i could assume was that her hair had been assaulted by a gang of anti-stylists. so to even acknowledge our situations in the same sentence was like comparing apples to oranges.....STARK OPPOSITES and no comparison.



i never responded negatively to her comments, but all the while i was confused by her relentless questioning of my choices and the lack of hers. i guess i could understand since she looked more like....



ok, i kid, i kid....she wasn't as gray-haired....ok, let me STOP! *sniggle* (but she made me mad, ya'll). but lately, the commenting and comparisons have been happening a lot. my cousin has a daughter who was almost born on the same day as mine. needless to say, she compares and comments about everything. she even told me she was competing to see who could do what first. once my daughter started to excel past hers, she became bitter and started picking fights with me about anything. we barely speak now. i am not sharing this story to boast about myself because i am no celebrity, not uber-riche, nothing more than myself. but i do invest time and effort into my appearance. i feel your appearance represents you-period. if you are polished, well put together and clean...then that may speak volumes about you. if you are sloppy, slovenly and dirty, well..... i value education and culture and believe that i should take advantage of every opportunity at my disposal. i don't believe in laziness or wastefulness. if for some reason, someone else may not uphold these values, that is their freedom of choice and i do not feel i should have to become the target for others insecurities. to me, esteem is as simple as a choice. i was not always "fabulous." in fact, i used to be down-right fugly! but i channeled some of my efforts into my appearance and changed it to something i was more comfortable with.


if you are comfortable in your skin and are loving what you are blessed with...then ROCK ON!!! keep doing your thing and try not to let others bring you down. but if you or someone you know does not like something about their appearance....I ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!! DO IT FOR YOURSELF....SO THAT WHEN YOU GO OUT, YOU CAN FEEL LIKE A ONE PERSON PARADE...OR WHEN YOU STAY IN, YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR OWN COMPANY. do whatever you need to do to elevate your esteem because it is unattractive to harp on others because of what you lack. it is also a turnoff because...who wants to hang around a party pooper that always complains? and if all else fails...don't hate me because i'm beautiful & fabulous! *wink*

***QUESTION*** HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE THE TARGET OF SOMEONE'S INSECURITIES ON A PERSONAL LEVEL? I DON'T MEAN SOME STRANGER IN THE STORE ROLLING THEIR EYES...I MEAN SOMEONE IN YOUR PERSONAL SPACE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW? HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT?

15 comments:

Busy Bee said...

Well Well Well! I've had many females try to analyze me by commenting on what I'm wearing or how I look or my hair or my smell or whatever! I feel as those these females like what they see and wish they two could be the way I am.I think women like this just aren't comfortable with who they are. When they come across some one who is they tend to react in a STANK way to try to make you feel like they do.Pathetic!Women like this should learn to love themselves!When you do, it shows!When you don't YOU SHO IS UGLY!LOL

The Bee is out!

12kyle said...

PCD great post

I think SOME women are catty and petty by nature. I can be in a room full of women and as soon as another woman walks in the room...you can "see" the thoughts of some of the women. It's comical. Most men don't do that. I don't know why. I've never been made to feel uncomfortable b/c I don't do what I do for anybody other than myself. What that woman tried to do was to transfer her negative energy to you. It's good that you didn't stoop to her level of ignorance.

TravelDiva said...

I have. There are always haters. I agree with Busy B, only people who are not comfortable with themselves have a problem with other people looking good. I was in a nail salon with my boyfriend once and he was waiting while I got various things done. Anyway, this woman--early 30s, was enraged at me. I never met her, didn't know her, and wasn't really paying attention to her. Until I saw her literally glaring at me. At first I kind of ignored the stares and eye rolls. Then when I was putting back on my shoes to leave, I saw her eyeballing my sassy boots and I laughed right in her face. I thought she was being so petty and stupid. And the thing was, she looked fine. It wasn't like she was unattractive. But I guess she didn't feel as fab as I did. Loser. Girlfriend was pissed at me for looking good and being happy.

Eb the Celeb said...

LMAO at the picture of that dog...

Girl like Katt Williams said in his stand-up... let the haters hate... you need haters... so let them do their job...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4w5M8V4aqI

Mes Deux Cents said...

Hi PCD,

"she asked to use my makeup"

No way! I hope you didn't share your Make-up, sharing make-up is so unhygienic!

To answer your question; there are people who thrive on slighting others. It makes them feel better about themselves. I have encountered a few people like that but as soon as they began to show these kinds of behaviors I cut them loose.

jameil1922 said...

i ignore or dismiss those who like to project their insecurities on me. i don't have the time or the patience. be out!! she asked to use your makeup?!?! errrr??? no ma'am.

Elle said...

This is yet another reason why I love gay men...not only do they appreciate fabulosity, but they do wonders for a girl's self-esteem! And some may even give you fashion tips along the way :) Fuglies of the world, find yourself a GBFF, stat!

Anonymous said...

Just curious...

Here is a paste from your entry:

this young lady was 7 inches shorter than ***i and weighed probably 50-65 pounds more than ***me.

I understand people who misuse pronouns.. but I never understood those who play the 50% grammar game.

Choose one and stay w/ it.

Is it "than me" or "than i"

?

:)

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

anon...are you the wilderbeast that i spoke of in my story? the english lesson is of utter wackness...it's a blog for the love of mike. i write what i write...not that serious

Kitty said...

^^ And for that comment, PCD, I dub thee my Bloggin' BFF.
*dead*

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

@ kitty...LOL. yeah, we can kick it...i don't do foolishness on MY blog. people need to get serious...*skipping away singing "i've got a blog bff!!"*

Anonymous said...

no.. i +aint+ no wilderbeast.. i can do my own make-up wid my own stuff.. just thought you might wanna fix dat and go wid one or de udder.. makes you look dum(b) and probably confirms what many readers think.. dat you is all 'bout what's on da outside.. and not what's upstairs in da brain..

i guess it's ok if you insist on perpetuating the myth dat women isn't as smart as men

if you care.. the correct usage is .. "than I"... (cuz if you finish dat sentence.. it's "Than I ....AM..)

But.. i figgered you'd take it all personally.. and you did.. when all I suggested was that you make it parallel.. instead of dat half ass shint.

I got your back.. and all's you give me is smack

seya

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

anon...did someone pee-pee in your cornflakes? wtf is up with people trying to talk crazy to me on my own blog? personally, i don't have time for this so you will get no more attention here.

all i said to you was that this is not that serious...it's a blog, not my thesis so to grammar check was unecessary and laughable. i sincerely believe you are the only one making an issue of that sentence. but you know what, i appreciate your admiration anyways. because even tho you're trying to imply that i'm "dumb" and make unkind remarks, you're still here! know why? cuz you love me! YAY!! and you took the time to read, critique, comment, come back and COMMENT AGAIN!! and PCD has been kniown to attract a variety of fans so it is what it is. (i just figured out who you are now...) E-BALLING, sarcastic commenters are of no consequence to me....perhaps that's why you're posting anonymously. regardless, i don't care about you having my back when you are slyly trying to be a jerk by taking jabs at my intelligence viz my blog grammar. typing a ":)" doesn't cover up the fact that you were trying to be insulting and sarcastic. thanks but no thanks. and if you think i'm so dumb (or my blog) you may happily click the "X" in your upper right corner and never return. you're not welcome here anyway....geesh. i just lost about 264 brain cells addressing this silliness again. anon, go away, this circle is too pretty for you and you will be deleted hence forth, now and forever more...

RThomas said...

...wow, anon...what you troll blogs providing editorial feedback? Classic waste of time and energy. This site and others like it are simply platforms that these individuals take time to cultivate and nurture so that all of us can vent, share and to some extent grow. I'm sure if you look hard enough (not sure why you would) but you'd see that we all drop grammatical errors, bad punctuation and the like. Providing style and syntax critiques on any personal site is laughable....That's unreal.

Give it up or get lost....if you asked me.

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

HA HA!!!! rthomas just 1,2 punched that anonymous coward!!! hee, hee....you get no love here when you act silly...and your silliness is on display for all to see...au revoir!