Thursday, March 20, 2008

Love In Space...

sooooooooooo, i have a friend. she likes to meet guys off of the net. she has been doing this for years....i mean, yeeeeeeeeeears, like maybe 7-8. in the beginning, while it was still dangerous, it was still the "new" thing to do and it was before the freaks, weirdos, terrorists, pedophiles and such came out in droves. people were fascinated at the idea of meeting a possible love interest or friend on the other end of the monitor. i always expressed my concern because it seemed to spiral out of control with the meetings. she was crossing state lines on a regular basis! i couldn't understand the logic. i said-IF you feel you have to keep meeting these guys face to face, why do you always have to be the one to travel? but she'd brush me off and skip onto the next plane, train or automobile to meet whoever of the moment.

ok, so now we're older. i really feel like this is extraordinarily strange to still continue meeting and greeting with the hope of serious relationships. mainly because...if we're older now, then obviously, she'd be seeking mates that are older. and the idea of a middle-aged person lurking for love just gives me the creeps. for some reason, it makes me question their social abilities and hidden lives. and the older you get, of course, the more baggage you acquire and can hide behind a web page. but in the era of, and whatever else those love hook-up sites are, my comments fall on deaf ears. in the last year, she's encountered a man who flew her to the opposite coast to his homestate, they met, didn't really mesh well and she returned. later, she saw a pic of him online with a cast on. he told her he broke his hand when he punched his wife in the head. *head spinning in confusion* THIS is exactly what i speak of....he could have punched her in the head and broke something. and then to find out he was married like that? UGH!
realistically, you could meet a psycho anywhere. your future spouse could be standing over the tomatoes in the grocery store....then turn out to be a complete nut later down the line. but there is something that is especially creepy about the net love.

the latest rendezvous took the cake tho. it was with a preacher from myspace. for some reason, this one really made me feel like the naughty girl kissing in the confessional...and i'm not catholic nor am i the one meeting him...but it just made me feel *weird.* i guess it was because she's my BFF and he'! i just couldn't adjust to the idea of a preacher meeting up with ladies via myspace. and what if they did become an item? would he proclaim from the pulpit, "you know i met the first lady of Hold My Mule Tabernacle on myspace back in the day, right?" it just doesn't feel right. and why would a preacher be surfing the net for chicks anyway? unlike a large number of folks who do this, they (technically) shouldn't be "hooking up" or having flings with the new lust why not just wait until you encounter someone in real life that seems interesting? i mean, the fact that you are reaching out to them via the net kinda rings of lust to me...well, maybe i say that because my friend has pics in her album of our new year's outing and she is holding her breasts like two cassava melons....not in a skanky way, but just odd when you know a preacher's looking at them. then to top it all off, the net seems to let general info go untold for a little longer than it would had the people met in life, like

what is your job?

what kind of car do you drive?

are you married?

do you have both of your legs? if not, how did this occur?

^^this was the one before the preacher...and yes, he was missing a leg, but he never spoke of it until my friend sat on his lap and felt the clicks or clacks that connect the fake leg to his stump. of course, PCD freaked out because i said it could have become a weapon in the wrong situation and you wouldn't have even known he had it until it cracked you upside your freak-out wasn't about the fact that he was missing a leg, it was about the secrecy ABOUT the leg and the awkward way it came out...because they had spent the night together by this point...smh



12kyle said...

anutha good one PCD

Not only is this dangerous but it could be deadly! You'd think that she'd know this by now. I hope she comes to her senses. Sooner than later.

A preacher on myspace??? Wow! Only in America. Haaaa

The F$%K it List said...

I don't think that cyber dating is dangerous if its done the right way. I actually know a couple who are now married and they met on Blackplanet. But traveling to meet some dude you don't know ALONE is NUTS!

And ughhh myspace is the WORST! After dateline exposed them I won't even look at myspace (no thats not true my godbrother has a page and its hilarious).

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

@ 12kyle...i agree. its just too risky...and she ALWAYS seems to get the nuts!

@ F-it...i feel you...but back then, it wasn't as weird as it is now. blackplanet started out really cool....and i too, know some hook-ups that have lasted....but that was many moons ago. if i were single, i wouldn't dare meet someone off of there now

RThomas said... hit it. Back then it wasn't as weird and people (who were looking) had generally good intentions. Since that time, folks have become PROS at grazing online for opportunities. They know how to disguise their personalities to fit the reader's likes. The anonymity makes it dangerous. And, BTW, you've got to see SOMETHING wrong, weird, lacking or take your pick, if someone is LOOKING for a date online. I mean, if you happen upon something special, by all means develop it. But, if you are circling the internet seven times like the children of Israel to find a mate, then I'm going to go ahead and say you're weird...or uuuggghhh!


The F$%K it List said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The F$%K it List said...

I wouldn't go on Blackplanet to save my life now. There are some sites that I think are geared to real matches so that's why I am not so down on the cyber dating thing.

I am more fearful for your friend taking planes, trains and automobiles to meet people. Chatting up someone online is on thing but packing bags and setting out for afventure like Brit-Brit in that movie crossroads is where danger lies.

But then again what do I know I got my hubby the old fashion way, he stalked me from age 11 and I finally gave in at 16. HAHA

So mad @ Rthomas for saying " circling the internet seven times like the children of Israel " Too Funny

dejanae said...

ctfu @ this post
always gotta be careful
always meet folk in public places

Miss Mika said...

Well... I am a bit biased on this subject because I actually met my current boyfriend on the internet. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship when he sent me a message on Blackplanet (is that site still around?). Anywho, I didn't pay much mind to the note, but figured I had nothing to lose in talking to him. Wasn't interested in a relationship with anybody at that time. Over the course of 6 months, something happened where our friendship turned into something deeper. A year and 4 months later, we are still together and wanting to spend the rest of our lives together.

Nowadays, anything can be dangerous. Just make sure that you are cautious and using common sense if you decide to seek love online. I think the biggest mistake people make is they rush things. They meet too quickly and don't really know the person before they do.

Product Junkie Diva said...

All I have to say is Dateline NBC features "To Catch a Predator"......yikes
Product Junkie Diva

Eb the Celeb said...

yeah i dont do the online dating thing... and your friend better be careful letting guys fly her out and crap. that's how chicks end up missing

Still_Pocahontaz said...

good post PCD...umm Ima roll with utter wackness. I met this dude on blackplanet. UGH, he was Ushers #1 fan and he was feminine as heck. Went over to his place and this fool hops on the couch and lands on his knees and starts caressing my hair...he was just to feminine for my taste....DONT DO IT!!!...

Tha Hell is the preacher doing on myspace is a really, really, really, good question.

jameil1922 said...

that is def. one of those feeler sitches. i don't want to try it but i can sometimes understand people who do it. i do NOT understand, tho doing it for 7-8 years. does she do regular dating too?? Hold My Mule Tabernacle?! I CAN'T STAND YOU!! lololol. how do you not tell someone you have one leg? come on. there was this guy david in a wheelchair growing up. SO hot. the wheelchair meant nothing to me. then i found out he had a kid @ 16 (apparently i wasn't alone in my thinking) and i was like ok i'm cool on the baggage. too bad! the pastor is weird b/c there are so many preacher stalkers in the church. it is not at all hard for them to find women who want to be the first lady. whether they're acceptable candidates... i can't say!

jameil1922 said...

did rthomas say "circling the internet seven times like the children of Israel"?!?!? LMAO!!!

Park Avenue said...

One of my sister's friends talks to a guy on a telephone party-line. They've been talking for a year & he's been sending her all kinds of expensive gifts & money. I think that puts the "c" in crazy, taking all of this stuff from someone you don't really know. She needs to be careful & send all of that crap back. It's hard enough trying to meet decent people face to face, let alone over the phone, computer, etc.

Elle said...

OMG anyone who is on a party line looking for a man is just hopeless! All I can do is SMH at this chick, poor poor dear. I really hope she snaps out of it.

Queen of My Castle said...

WOW!!!! This whole post freaked me out. LMAO @ Hold My Mule Church. The whole fake leg thing gave me the heebie geebies. *Shuddering* As for the guy that punched his wifey in the head...*Wide eyes* WTF?!?!?!