Thursday, September 4, 2008
The Neighbor Chronicles
so remember that incubus of a neighbor i told you about recently? the one with the dog who almost burnt down the joint cuz she's always locking herself out? the one closest to moi? when she sees me, she does complete 180s turning around to walk in the different direction. and for the most part, she seems to have gone into hiding. ask me if i care? as i told you, i petitioned almost everyone within the sound of my voice to sign a strong letter against her, urging her to follow the rules or suffer the guillotine!!! lol, ok...i'm joking about chopping her head off, but still, her dog ownership was in serious jeopardy if she continued to let that fleabag deficate everywhere. its pretty funny now, because now that i've identified her to so many folks, they will shout out of their windows or from their cars if they see her violating so shes always on the lamb-HA HA!!!! i think she should just do us all a favor, including herself, and M-O-V-E!
while that is a small victory, yet another "issue" has risen. another new neighbor. she is single with 2 huge, loud boys. i think she's an immigrant or something all i ever hear her say is "kalla kalla kaa" or something like that. she has this tricked out camry which is oh-so-ghetto and everyone just looks at her as she drives by. i swear, who screens these people? anyhoo, as they were moving in, i was growing more and more irritated. why does moving have to become a block party? can't you just take your things in and out? do you have to have family reunions and blaring music and beer? UGH! and i knew she was trifling because she didn't even have a moving truck...she had a small flatbed from Home Depot and stuff was falling off and people were risking lives trying to keep it on...between her 2 sons, two other dudes and herself...it was hilarious! but also discouraging...
but this is when she tore her drawls with PCD...she had been dragging things into her home for 2 days and she never spoke, waved or anything. thats cool with me because i'm not beat to be friends with everyone. i TRULY believe that everyone just simply does not mesh. so this day, lil PCD was asleep and there was a thunderous roar at our door. it was one of her handlers. some random man was knocking on our door like Bigfoot was after him. so my hubby went to the door and flung it open with the look of WTF plastered on his face. i was right behing him, eyebrows raised, lips curled and attitide full cocked! dude had the nerve to say..."hey man, we can't seem to get this couch in, can you help us?"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just stood back waiting to hear hubby's response...he was like, "look, my daughter's asleep. don't ever knock on my door like that again...and no i can't help you. we're busy. watch my wife's flowers when you head back." THE NERVE!?!?! so basically, they just spotted some other negroes and skipped over anyone who was closest to come knock on our door like we're fam or something. i HATE THAT!!! just because we may be shades of brown, we are NOT friends, family, cool, homies....so to assume we'd be like, "yeah bro, let's break out the 40s and have a grand ol' time" was ludicrous...and i was offended. do NOT speak to me just because you need something!! he wobbled his way off of our doorstep and miss lady (and her cohorts) has earned the top spot on MY LIST.
***WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CONVENIENT OR FAMILIAL KINDNESS???***