Tuesday, June 24, 2008
To Gift Or Not To Gift...
morning everyone! your friendly neighborhood PCD is here and i'v got an opinion question of you all.
first let me say that i am an extraordinary gift giver, if i say so myself. i pride myself on taking real time to decided upon gifts that speak to the receiver, reflect their tastes and stand out. my gifts usually have multiple components and i always customize/personalize at least one of them. with that said, this aspect of my gift giving usually gets me in trouble. well, not literally...but trouble in the sense of being upset when people do not even think of me in the most basic of gift giving etiquette.
example...a college "friend" of mine was having a baby. we barely talk (or email) and only got reacquainted when she found out i was having a baby. we do not live in the same state. when it was almost time for the baby to be born, i got an invite to her baby shower. now of course, it was terribly (and shamelessly) a ploy for a gift because everyone knew full well i would not be attending the shower in 2 weeks from this far away. i mean, she's not my bff or anything. so while i started constructing my gift basket for her tike, i stopped dead in my tracks. when i had my baby i didn't get so much as an e-greeting saying congratulations. sure there were emails sent and they said how cute lil PCD was...but that really was just them being nosey wanting to see what she looked like. as i thought about it, i was bothered because people KNOW how much i put into gifts that i give. and i started to get angry. needless to say, i did not send a gift.
my decision bothered me because i actually enjoy giving gifts, especially for babies because i shop at boutiques for one-of-a-kind items a lot. i like to give things no one else will have given at the party (like what happened at my shower, i got 3 of the same thing-bleh!). i love to see that people's faces or hear their reactions. i take a lot of time finding things to comprise the gift so i really like hearing that the receiver likes it. now as of last week, i found out another "friend" just got engaged. she didn't even tell me...i found out on facebook and it was verified by word-of-mouth. now all of the sudden, i get an invite to the bridal shower...again, we are not in the same state, and she's bff's with the other person i just mentioned.
or like my cousin who i mentioned in previous posts...when my baby turned one, you'll never guess what she got her. she got a pair of jeans and a plain white long sleeved shirt. i understand that people's taste vary, but COME ON! but the kicker was that when i went to return it to the store, there was no gift receipt or tags so i had to ask her where it came from. she says target. so why when i went to guest service did they tell me that they only cost $3.30!?!?! TOGETHER!!! both items were on clearance and they cost THREE FRIGGIN DOLLARS???? and of course, for her babys b-day, i got her a basket with learning toys, an ABC caterpillar, a dress, some books, stuffed animals and had balloons tied to the handles
i'm like-WHY!?!? why do people think i'm so dumb? the sweet side of me wants to send something anyway cuz like i said, i love shopping for gifts, especially ones that stand out. but why should i? i'm starting to alter my thinking to the ideal that people should receive gifts from me because they "deserve" it, not just because i like giving them...
i struggle with this because i do not have (active) fair-weather relationships in my life. i just don't function like that. sure, people try to pull me into their fake associations, but i do not treat people like that. if we don't talk on a regular or semi-regualr basis, then don't reach out to me when its your birthday or wedding. i think that's fake. if when i got married and had my baby, you were only there to email your nosey picture requests, then don't send me invites to your crap in hopes of a gift. even someone really close to me is like that with their family...they don't talk unless its a holiday or event like birthday or someone's party. who DOES THAT?
***DO YOU THINK I'M BEING HARSH BY NOT SENDING GIFTS TO THESE LADIES? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BLATANTLY USED JUST SO YOU CAN GET SOMEONE SOMETHING OR DO SOMETHING FOR THEM? HOW'D YOU REACT? SHARE...***