Tuesday, June 17, 2008
before your minds go off into the gutter (lol), i have a serious question....
do YOU believe in spanking? do you practice it? if you don't have kids yet, do you intend on spanking?
i ask this because i really would like to hear different opinions on it. i personally do not spank. i do not judge others who choose to spank, but i would like to actually HEAR their reasoning behind it. this all started because, as i've mentioned before, i have a cousin who has a daughter 6 days younger than mine. this cousin and i are like night and day, complete opposites in EVERY way. i keep my lil' PCD dressed in cute little prissy outfits, and i do her hair every day, she is clean and i am a stickler for teaching manners, even tho she can't pronounce everything perfectly yet. she understands me tho. cousin's baby on the other hand is the opposite. she is usually dirty, dirt you can see on her and under her finger and toenails. her hair is never combed and she's pretty wild. she's also extremely ill-mannered.
so we went out last friday. we were in the mall. each and every store we went into, her baby was running, screaming, throwing and doing whatever she wanted. when her mother told her to stop, she didn't listen. and in each and every store we were in, she got spanked. and she kept displaying the same behavior even after her spanking. by the 7th store, i had had enough...for a number of reasons. now usually, i wouldn't say a word about how someone disciplines their kid...but i was tired of the crazed circus that was trailing behind me around the mall. so as the baby kept running and standing on the kiddie chairs in this store, she got spanking # 8. of course everyone looked at the spectacle, which was mostly the mother screaming and yelping at the unphased baby. and get this, the kid gets spanked so much, she doesn't even cry!
anyhoo, i was tired at this point, so i shooshed my cousin and ushered the baby to the kiddie chairs and said the same thing i said to my kid..."have a seat ma'am and don't move. be obedient. thank you." and there she sat. 2 minutes later, she was up, and i said it again, this time i was far away from her...she went to sit. 2 more minutes and we just kept going back and forth...but my point was that 1) i did not need to get loud and create a scene, 2) patience and a loving yet firm tone got my point across just fine, 3) at this age (they're 18 mos), no kid just sits completely quietly, twidling their thumbs whistling dixie and 4) she responded much more positively to me than her mothers' rants, raves and volume.
testing their limits is what they do...especially at this age. so to spank them for every thing they do, even if the action is deliberate would be fruitless. i have found that my tone and repetitive reinforcement has worked just fine for lil PCD. she is at a point where i can give her a look and she'll know i mean business. i was upset with my cousin because at this age, i don't believe they understand the "point" of spanking. sure they understand the pain...and they can relate their action to the pain of the impending spanking and possible fear of getting one...but do they understand the actual POINT? i would say no. needless to say, my cousin over-spanks.
***BUT FOR THOSE WHO SPANK OR DON'T SPANK AT ALL, WOULD YOU MIND SHARING YOUR RATIONALE?***