Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Roomies That Made Me Gloomy

the other day, i was thinking about some of the roommates i've had in the past. some were quite colorful...others were "regular" people. but its those wacky ones that really took the cake...

first there was *kayla.
she was a church girl who i'd known for seven years. she did not drink, do any drugs or have premarital sex. she went to church every sunday, prayed and read her bible daily and did not say curse words. kayla was great...except she kept the house filthy.
at first, she would stare at my bed decor and decorative do-dads in awe. i thought that was weird because we were young and i didn't have anything extravagant, but she thought everything i had/did was so fancy or beautiful. well, i figured out why when on the way to the bathroom one morning, i must have squashed about 20 cocoa puffs into the carpet. i was livid! i don't even eat cereal...but to have little crumbs all smushed into the floor was unacceptable. then i got to the sink and it was covered in hair and makeup debris. i couldn't even use it because i am weird like that. if someone else's hair or nail fragments are visibly strewn about, i will be overcome with the willies. kayla would leave all kinds of trash around, make-up plopped everywhere, and she shed like a friggin' puppy! all was lost when she began setting her alarm to blast the church music at an ungodly hour and would leave it on while she showered...all while i was asleep, or trying to be. needless to say, we didn't make it to year 2. one year was enough.

next there was *carrie and *sherrie. they were sisters i had been acquainted with for some years. carrie was my age and sherrie was 2 years older. the sisters were seemingly pleasant and clean so i thought all would be good. but after a few discussions about living together, carrie wanted to invite *gilda to live there as well. i didn't have a good feeling about gilda because i didn't know her and when i saw her, i was even more concerned. she was very odd looking and acting. she kinda looked like a malnourished vulture with dark, sunken in eyes and stringy hair.
she was very stand-offish but i was like whatev. i figured that since i was so busy, it wouldn't matter. immediately problems began. carrie started acting strangely and wouldn't speak to me. gilda never was nice. she would roll her eyes at me, walk right by and not speak and slam doors if i had friends over. all was lost when i had a gathering of sorts around thanksgiving. no one was there except me so i figured that it would be ok to have a few people over. we were having a great time and gilda walked in. she was there for all of five muntes and walked back out. 2 minutes later, there was a knock on the door. that hussy called the authorities on me! thankfully, my fabulousness won them over and there were no citations given, but i was irate. well, as soon as the police left, she walked back in and almost sprinted to her room locking the door. well, i sprinted after her giving her a piece of my mind. i kicked her door and told her that when i did see her, i was going to go upside that vulture-y face of hers so she'd better leave. well, she hid in there for hours and wouldn't come out so we all left. days later, gilda moved out.

we needed another roomie so we let this chick named *vickie take vulture's room. vickie was so sweet. she was from a small town and she was a fresh bumpkin off of the turnip truck. she was excited to be in a "real" city and she was a year younger than me and carrie. all was well for the first few weeks. then vickie started getting into the swing of things. she invited a lot of guys over. A LOT!
and i noticed a trend...they were all friends. sometimes, there would be two guy friends in her room with her. sometimes i would wake up and be walking around in my panties, only to have a mini-heart attack because some random dude would pop out of her room. needless to say, she was becoming a whore and what was worse, was that our address was associated with her whoredom. someone came to me one day and told me that our address was mentioned in the same breath as some freaky mentionings. i was disgusted. i told vikcie that she had to remove the fire from her tail or find somewhere else to live. we went back and forth and she hated me after that. she wouldn't speak to me and she met her callers elsewhere.

carrie became even more estranged and when the year was up, her sister explained to me that carrie hated me because of my hair. go figure! i thought she was mad because she sensed the tension between me and her friend the vulture....but just like a chick, she was an undercover hater. she was one of those color-struck chicks caught up in old school race issues. i laughed all over the place when sherrie told me that, then wished her well. that was the end of that.



Brown Girl Gumbo said...

Funny stories, although I'm sure they weren't funny to you at the time!

Fortunately, I have only had 1 roommate my entire life. That was freshman year in college. She was white and very nice. I remember I was in LOVE with 2pac at the time and her dad bought me a 2pac calendar! LOL She was nice, but partied way too much. She ended up flunking out. The one thing I did notice about her was that she would always roll out of bed without showering!!! I WAS IN DISBELIEF!!! She'd do this about 3 times out of a week. Disgusting I know! I can't wait to read everyone else's horror stories!

The Pew View said...

Chile' this here the reason I got a NO MORE THAN 1 CAT IN THE HOUSE policy. Xcept for my childrens cats they dont count since they my kittens. It thanks its bad business living with otha womens and ain't nothing but trouble gone come from that. Hell I den put my fish on the market before to keep from having to get a roommate. If you knows what I mean. Hey sometimes a woman gotta do what she gotta do. Take care now.

Ruthie Ann

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Good One Sistah! I've had my share of roommates from those who cheat when it comes to paying half on the bills...those who hide food in their room even after I grocery shop and buy items for them...those who brake my tv and then they get an attitude about it...those who cook for friends with food my daddy purchased and didn't even save me a plate...those who only came out of their bedroom when their boyfriend came over and he was chatting with me even though we all suppose to be good friends...those who wanna live rent free...those are messy as can be....

One thing I hate is living in the same quarters and feeling like I live with strangers...I am all about the family and playing team when you live in the same household...unfortunately everybody ain't a team player!

The F$%K it List said...

LMAO at "get the fire out her tail" HAHA. And calling that chile a culture is too much.

I have had three roomates, my freshman roomate, friend Caroline and a swedish chick from college. Long story short about freshman roommate, she was a Bitch and I caught her talking about me but I chose to not address her. OFCOURSE she had to come and get in my face when I told her to just leave it alone I would move out. But nope not this chick. So she put her hand on me and I picked up a cinderblock and went to throw it at her. My big bro saw this happenning and caught my arm and I stayed off campus for a month.

Caroline and I were like peas in a pod until her boyfriend started visiting ALL THE TIME! Every weekend I was displaced and that 'Ish set me off when I was on campus (which really wasn't that often). And as I am a hot tempered woman it didnt go over well when I told her. Somehow though we managed to salvage our friendship (actually it happened because of the boyfriend he made it a point to stay in a hotel). We remain friends to this day.

The thing with the Swedish girl was she refused to shower. And she was a dance major. Thank God we only shares a bathroom and common space or bedrooms were seperate. I would not have been able to take that funk. she also liked to touch me that was weird. Oh how pretty your skin is. No orange skin (cellulite) on your legs. Just weird. From that year on I vowed to live alone even if it meant living in the smallest room on campus.

Miss Mika said...

You have had some interesting experiences with roomies. You were certainly were a lot more patient than I would have been.

I have had one roomate and that has caused me to NEVER want to have another one ever again in life. This chick's name was Deanna and similar to Vickie in your story, she was a HO. Literally every day of the week, she had a different guy at the place. And the walls in the townhouse were thin, so when I say I could hear everything, I am not exaggerating.

On top of that she was super messy, leaving dishes in the sink for weeks on end. I remember a couple of weeks after I moved in, I went downstairs and noticed something actually growing out of one of the bowls she left sitting in the sink. Needless to say, I couldn't stand it anymore and quickly found my own place.

The funny part was that when I gave her my notice, she was actually surprised. ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

TravelDiva said...

Hey chica! I'm back from vacay!

LOL. No I only had one roommate in college and we were actually really compatible--roomed together for three years. We liked the same music, same beliefs, mostly watched the same shows and were both occassionally junky, but not dirty.

(¯`·._.·[***Fresh&Fab***]·._.·´¯) said...

!!!!!!!MY BROTHER!!!!!

I cant stand him, we are two opposite people. hes really messy and im the clean freak type, i cant live with him, but i have to.

i just cant stand him.i cant, he will make me move out early

jameil1922 said...

ugh. horridnessocity. i just linked to my crazy roommates. i have a thing about papers and have them everywhere but food? it kills me.

12kyle said...

awwwww shyt! Anutha good one, PCD

The 1st roommate that I ever had was real cool...but he was slack as hell. He was one of my teammates, too. This dude kept all of his clothes (clean and dirty) at the foot of his bed! Some were on the floor and some were on the bed. I mean his entire wardrobe!!! That's slack. It gets worse. This dude slept on the mattress with no fitted sheet. How could you put your skin on a mattress that was old and you can fill in the blanks as to the types of "germs and secretions" that were embedded in it. He slept on that and he threw a blanket over himself. That's it. Just a nasssssty sunavabych! Ugh!

12kyle said...

Oh...I forgot. I had another roommate my junior year. He was a teammate as well. He wasn't slack but he did some strange things. The strangest thing that he'd do was he'd turn on my John Madden football game...and he'd watch the computer play against the computer in demo mode! He wouldn't even play the game!!! Who does that? The purpose of a video game is to PLAY it!!

Well...he was only my roomie for half the year b/c he flunked out.

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

@, you lucked out! be glad honey!

@ pew view...i should have hhad that frame of mind....see what i got ;-)

@ keisha...ooooh, you got stuck with some bad ones! they better be glad you're not violent because some of those things are really fight-instigating!

@ F-it...whats with the foreigners who won't bathe? thats a mess! lol

@ miss mika...EW! growing things in the sink!! now thats just un-called for.

@ traveldiva...lucky!!! oooh, how was the vacay? i'ma travel over to your spot to see if you wrote or posted pics about it

@ F&, he must be younger! maybe you can school him on being a better roomie

@ and your words! classic!

@ 12kyle...ew! a bare mattress!?!? i need to know why...seriously, whats the point? you're THAT lazy? i wouldn't sleep on my own mattress that we own now without a sheet. its like just need it

12kyle said...

I couldn't tell you why he did it. I asked him one day and he asked me "why are you worried about it?" That was my que to leave it alone. If you wanna be nasty...go ahead!

DreamCop08 said...

lmao at Kyle, that dude sounded really crazy.

well PCD i had only one roomate, she and i fought like stupid because i am a neat freak and she was very messy to put it in nice terms.

some people are not meant to be roomates especially women

Tearsa said...

Girl have I!? Freshman year at FAMU my roommate was very homesick and looked to her Jamaican culture to soothe her -- with that said she put a Bob Marley CD on "repeat all" 24/7. I thought I was going to have to kill her. We eventually became good friends and she diversified her music for me. LOL

Sophomore year I lived in a 4 bedroom apt.. my roommates were pretty random. My favorite random was a girl from Africa who cooked the smelliest foods EVER! The whimsical thing about her was she was very "assimilated" to the point of almost have a valley girl way of talking. Did I mention she was directly from Africa?

Junior year life became perfect when one of my best girlfriends and I moved in together. She and I were the bomb together!

Eb the Celeb said...

OK... now you know you dead wrong for the stringy hair picture... it couldnt have been that bad... but it sure made for a funny

But I feel ya pain... I"ve been threw quite a few roommates myself living in NYC... lucky for me the apt is in my name so I give them their 30 day notice when they arent working out and get me someone else up in there.

dessex said...

wow...that room was a mess....

I got a couple of crazy stories about roommates.... One of them had the nerve to put my boxers on...Nasty right. I told him to keep them and moved out. Next semester I had a suitemate that couldn't pick up after himself...after I cussed him out he finally got his shit together. After I just got a room to myself.

I figure I live better by myself.

Anonymous said...


I live alone. Indefinitely!