Not-So-Likely Friends...

...in your head. this may resemble 12kyle's post yesterday about being attracted to people that typically you wouldn't dare think about in that way. well, this post is about friends that you think you'd like to have that are not as obvious. i did a post a while back about people you'd like to know, but they were pretty much along the lines of your typical and usual interests. this all popped in my mind because of my current obsession with tori spelling and her show, tori & dean: home sweet hollywood.

i know, i know. how unlikely? but besides enjoying the show, i feel like tori spelling and i could be friends. she's so unaware and charming. and seeing her show really opened up another side to her. she's worlds away from the presumed snobby, money-mongering hollywood heifer she used to portray. since getting married (again) and popping out 2 kids, she seems so...normal. and i enjoy having her as a friend in my head. so........

***WHO IS A FRIEND IN YOUR HEAD THAT SEEMS SO UNLIKELY?***

Thy Quirks Shall Not Offend Others

i watch the real housewives of new york city on the bravo channel. i enjoy it because its funny watching these ladies scramble to outdo one another scene after scene. if you watch it, then you may agree that the NY cast seems a bit more fake than the orange county cast. they just seem like they are trying hard to impress people.



anyhoo, there's one couple, alex and simon. (alex is the blond on the right. she NEVER looks that polished-lol) they are trying to move upward into more social circles and network with more affluent people. what irks me about this couple is a laundry list of things. they try really hard to appear ultra-riche, very cultured, and fashionable snobbish. but what doesn't add up is the wife NEVER seems to comb/brush her hair. and she also wears a lot of dressy shirts with blue jeans that have no business being paired together, like a yellow, black & white sleeveless shirt with super-blue jeans. it just looks odd.



but what is the weirdest of all is her husband, simon. he is obsessed with clothes, including women's clothes...so much so that he ALWAYS goes shopping with alex. when they are heading out somewhere, he picks out her outfit. alex and simon try very hard to force their closeness down everyone's throats. they go everywhere together...EVERYWHERE...because as they say, they're each other's best friend, are in love and have a good marriage.


what i find bothersome about that is one does not equal the other...meaning, you can have a good marriage and be in love, but that doesn't mean you have to become siamese twins. this particularly annoyed me because one thing that peeves me more than anything else is when someone else's quirks/preferences/lifestyle/ignorance choices are pushed into my space. in one episode the ladies met up at a fashion show and alex had simon lagging behind her. the other ladies were so shocked because no one else's husband had accompanied them...and then he sat behind them and started giving alex a massage while she was chatting with the other ladies.



but what took the cake was the latest ep! one of the ladies organized a ladies night dinner. when alex was called and invited, she specifically asked if she could bring her husband. the ladies joked with her saying that if he wore a cocktail dress, he could come. i understood the joke because when you are asked so mething so dumb, it catches you off guard...but you don't want to be rude and just blurt out "NO you friggin bloke! its a bloody LADIES NIGHT!" so you try to take the light-hearted way out. well, alex gets off of the phone and proceeds to tell simon that they were invited to a girls night and the ladies didn't vehemently insist that he shouldn't come. she actually showed up with him to a dinner that was supposed to be for 5 women. one of the ladies freaked out and left, of course after making some choice comments.








i brought this up to say that while they were offended by her reaction, their action was the first offense. i despise when people almost force you to appear snobby/mean/pushy when they insist on shoving their lifestyle or preferences into everyone else's space. just because alex wants to be joined at the hip with her husband, not everyone else does. and it was so rude of her to even ASK if she could "bring" him after hearing it was a ladies night. the explanantion that you go everywhere together is not enough. and if you can't bare to be without him for a few hours, then don't come.




i've been put in some situations similar to this...where my answer either offended others or i ended up pissed off because i didn't give my true answer out of not wanting to hurt the other person.



EXAMPLE: i was invited to a wedding. it was at a home. the young lady and i were not close but we were cool. i showed up dressed to the nines, i believe i was wearing a black suit. anyhoo, as soon as i walked in, i was ushered into the kitchen and asked to prepare the wedding cake. WTF!?!?!?! the WEDDING CAKE!?!?!?! they said, "well, you're an artist so you could probably do it." HUH??? artist and baker are two totally different things. i was furious! i was not dressed for this, not to mention, this girl and i were not THAT cool. but i took my jacket off and started to stack and ice this cake because i felt sorry that this girl's relatives were ruining what was supposed to be a special day. i was pissed, but i let my woman feelings take over and i did it anyway, but i shouldn't have. no one even thanked me.



on the flip side, when i got married, we had an all-white wedding. we asked everyone who was invited to wear white. my wedding was in the dead of summer so it was not going to be hard to find something white if you didn't already have something. being that it was outdoors, i was not expecting people to show up in complete tuxedos and evening gowns...just something tasteful and white. i made it plain that if you did not wear white you would have to sit in another section until the reception. well, someone showed up in head-to-toe peach. i immediately dismissed her via an usher. she respected my request and left to navigate the town and bought something white, then returned. she claimed not to know about the attire. but what was odd was her date was the best man....how could you not know? but she didn't get ugly, she just threw on her white and sat behind some bushes.



now, on the flip/flip side....when i had my baby shower, only women were invited. all invites were addressed to the WOMAN, not the family, not the couple, but the woman. (this is the first rule of etiquette...pay attention to how invitations are addressed to avoid awkward conversations) on the day of, one invited guest calls my mum and TELLS her "they're" running late, but we'd see all of them soon. the "them" she spoke of was herself, her husband and her FOUR CHILDREN. um, are you kidding? the nerve of her!!!! just because you like to make family outings out of everything, everyone else does not want to be subjected to your 1,2, AND 3 year old toddlers ripping, running and screaming everywhere. they also have an 11 year old. so i had my hubby call and shut it down. (it was his cousin) she got an attitude and said no one was coming then. then she said she'd mail my baby's gift. um, my daughter's 16 months old now...still haven't gotten that gift.




***so i'm not even going to ask my pretty circle family if you would be so rude as to insist on disrupting the vibe of an event for you personal comfort. i know you guys would never!...but i will ask, when have you been put out by someone's quirk or request? WHO ASKED YOU SOMETHING THAT WAS CONSIDERED OFFENSIVE BECAUSE IT AS ALL ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL COMFORT INSTEAD OF THE GROUP DYNAMIC? HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT? ARE YOU MORE LIKELY TO TRY AND FIND A WAY TO ACCOMMODATE THEIR REQUEST OR STICK TO THE AGENDA, REGARDLESS OF THEIR REACTION? SPILL IT...........***

BET Is Trying To Kill Me

The Pretty Ugly Spotlight::: BET
*blogger is acting like quite the fool this morning-grrrrrrrrr!*

i guess i should make a formal announcement....i hate BET! i am really disappointed with the choice of programming and since debra lee has become the new shot-caller, i've been even more disgusted. there is an overflow of foolishness on that channel and its really out of control. last week, i was talking to my friend on the phone and she told me to turn it to BET and look at the new season of collge hill. i don't know how far in the season the episodes are, but i was really disgusted by the level of craziness going on.




college hill is a debacle if i've ever seen one. they put a bunch of college kids in a mansion. provide them with sex potions and creams, make the boys and girls share bedrooms and film everything. so what do you think will happen with young guys and gals sleeping in the same room with plenty of alcohol and freaky creams and juices flowing about? exactly....a hot, disgusting, over-sexed, irresponsible mess!

the girls seem to have a problem speaking in regular voices...meaning, they scream and yell a lot. (this is just one of my peeves. i hate to see black women portraying themselves as these savages yelling and acting out with no class. it makes them look like...yeah you know...angry, black blankety-blanks.....whatever happened to the days when ladies spoke in inside voices, crossed their legs when they sat down and displayed some mystery when it came to the opposite sex?) the guys seem to have one thing on their minds-sex. there is even an episode where they invite a bunch of strippers over and procede to throw $1 bills from the staircase and all over the room while these young "ladies" shake what their mothers gave them. i find myself asking-what is the point to this? i have yet to com eup with an answer.


another one of the shows that particularly made my gag reflex go into overdrive was keyshia cole: the way it is.




i have not seen the entire season(s) and i would never want to. the few episodes i have witnessed put me into a state of shock. imo, when does keeping it real truly go wrong?? well, i say this occurs in keyshia's show. there was so much dirty laundry being aired, i really couldn't stand to bear witness to it. some have argued that the struggles the family endured (most self-inflicted) could help someone but i don't understand how. there was infidelity, crack-smoking, incarceration, alcoholism, pregnancy outside of a marriage, abortion issues, and heaps of fighting, cursing and shouting at each other. i prayed they would not air another season.

well, there isn't another season being aired (yet) but BET did have a 'reunion' show with the family...which i found odd because they are all involved in each other's lives heavily so how is that a reunion? well, i guess they meant reuniting the family with the viewers? anyhoo, keyshia's sister neffetiria made me lose it. her thoughts seemed cloudy, she dodged questions and she kept saying "are you seeeeeeeeeeeeeerious? like are you seeeeeeeeeeeerious?" then out came frankie, keyshia's mom. the former felon and crack abuser. and the antics went up about 25 notches.

i do not find anything inspiring about this display. i don't understand the purpose of the show. it makes me sad actually. and you can call me a prude if you like, but i just feel like you don't have to put everything out there. some things can be kept to yourself...and i wish keyshia cole and crew would have. oh, and her sister neffetria was pregnant on the show by some random drug-abusing dude that is not her husband. she scheduled an appointment for an abortion...well, come to find out, she kept the baby. it's a boy....and his name is jaylen weelove cole. weelove...marinate on that. yes, weelove.

no, i'm not kidding.


*****WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON BET? ALSO, I IMPLORE YOU...IF YOU HAVE A SPARE 19 MINUTES, PLEASE WATCH THIS EPISODE OF THE BOONDOCKS SATIRIZING BET. AT LEAST WATCH THE FIRST 5 MINUTES IF YOU CAN'T WATCH THE WHOLE THING.****

*i didn't know cartoons cursed-lol, so beware, there is cursing in this*

Fashion (Non)Sense?

so last night, i was on the computer and i was trying to stay awake. so i flipped thru the channels and came across flavor of love 3. i can't even begin to describe the monstrocity that was going on in that show. needless to say, i was flabbergasted when i saw flavor flav sporting a high top out of straightened hair that was somehow miraculously freeze-dried up into an actual high top, probably with hair spray.

so the wheels in my head began to turn and i wondered, have i ever looked so silly for fashion (or individuality) before? everyone is different and has their own sense of identity when it comes to how they look. and looking back, some of the trends that i fell victim to make me gag, lol! but have you ever done something fashion wise that was so different or down with a current trend, that the end result was silly?

i know i have. looking back, i'd have to say that i did two odd things that made me look a mess....of course i thought it was cute then. as a freshman in college, i wanted to stand out. i didn't want to look like every other girl. so i decided to bleach the front of my hair. just two little tendrils that hung in the front. what made this so odd looking was the rest of my hair is dark brown, so the stark contrast really made your eyes go *boing!* when you looked at it. and if i put my hair in a ponytail, it looked weird slicked back amongst all of that dark hair. needless to say, all of that bleaching made those chunks of hair break off terribly and i was walking around with blond straggles in the front. also, at one point in high school, i decided to dress like a boy. i wore nothing but jerseys and big pants. truthfully, i was trying to hide my (no) figure. i was a "slow" developer (cough) so i was as straight as a board for the longest-lol! so if it was big or baggy, i had it on. big plaid shirts, pants so big, they were falling off. and i chopped my hair into the bluntest bob known to man. it looked HORRID.

so, share! ****WHAT WAS YOUR WORST TIME WITH FASHION? WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR OR WARDROBE THAT LOOKED LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR IT? lol

All Dora'd Out: Part Two-The Serious & Browns vs. Everyone Issues

ok, so i posted a while ago about my irritation with dora the explorer. mainly, it's because my daughter is obsessed with her and she is slowly trying to overtake our lives. but lately, i've been annoyed on another level. beside the fact that i just don't want to look at dora all over my house, furniture & child's clothes....i'm also annoyed at her presence-period. she teaches the children spanish. so does diego her cousin.







now that i do have a child, i am very observant as to what she does, watches and plays with. and i would be lying if i said i was annoyed that there wasn't a more diverse selection of entertainment characters. there's dora, her cousin diego...

now there's kai-lan, a chinese girl who teaches chinese during her cartoon and a host of talking animals. the only black cartoon is little bill, created by bill cosby.











i love little bill. his family is so cute and all of the people on the cartoon are diverse. he has a white friend, an asian friend and his little black cousin hangs with them as well. the cartoon is almost like the cosby show in cartoon form and i love that they considered the diversity of this country in all of their stories, even tho the main characters are black. i wish there was a cartoon with a little black girl as the main character...all i have to look forward to is disney's frog princess...whenever that comes out.




but it bothers me that there are not more black cartoons or children's shows on tv. dora & diego are EVERYWHERE! they have thousands of cartoon episodes, all types of merchandiing and they even are on broadway. little bill has been on the programming list since august and they show the same 10 episodes over and over.



***DOES IT MATTER TO YOU WHAT ETHNICITY OF CARTOON OR SHOW YOUR CHILDREN WATCH? WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON EQUAL OPPORTUNITY CARTOONING? lol*****



Chicas In The City did a post recently about the brown & black divide. it stirred up some questions as to why hispanics and black people seemingly have issues with each other. i touched upon some superficial reasons, but ones that are still important to me...mainly that i feel like the US is slowly becoming a larger mexico. when i think about it, i get baffled as to how this country is loaded with hispanics legal and otherwise and how our society has seemed to shape itself around them in many ways. we all know how they are exploited for cheaper labor...but what other reason has the country gone espanol?

it's like, if you are not bilingual in spanish, you are below the totem-pole. i am all for foreign language knowledge, especially for the purpose of personal enrichment. i personally prefer french. it is an elegant language and it is just beautiful. but in society, especially the working world, spanish is pushed and asked for a lot of times. and if you're not speaking it, YOU may get left behind....in america.



i am sick and tired to death of having to sift thru spanish speaking prompts, lines, signs and such to get service wherever i go. case in point, i took my child to the doctor and i could barely get in the door because aproximately 12 hispanic men, women and children were lined up to speak to the spanish receptionist. the english speaking counter was desolate. for some reason, this annoyed me to death. i had to say "excuse me" 20 times just to get by. and when i would listen to their convos, not ONE word of english was spoken. that baffles me. how do you come to a country where your language is NOT the native tongue and refuse to ever learn or use it? how does that work? how do you thrive, hold jobs, reap benefits...pretty much do whatever you want while never learning to speak even a few sentences?

i cannot imagine (nor would i want to) go to another country and not attempt whatever language is spoken there. and i'm speaking just of visiting...let alone set up my life and migrate there. picture me: i've moved to africa...."um, ya'll gonna speak english to me" (tapping foot impatiently)

i was out to dinner with some folks and i did not finish all of my food. i do not like for the wait staff to package my leftover food so if this is customary at certain places, i always ask them to leave mine so that i may do it myself. well, a hispanic man came to grab my bowl and i said "no, just bring me a box please. i'll do it." ten minutes later, he came by again, grabbing my bowl. he actually tried to do a little tug-of-war with me. i said again, "no, leave it. bring me a box please." 15 minutes later, he came AGAIN, grabbing at my bowl...finally i said. "NO! habla ingles?" he says "poco". i said "ugh, adios." HOW IS THIS? why am i having to speak ESPANOL in america where i am paying for a service? why does he have a job and not even have a basic vocabulary of things related to said job? i just feel this is so rude....but then again, society has shaped itself to the point where english isn't even necessary for them anymore.


***ARE YOU BOTHERED BY THIS? HAVE YOU HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE WITH SPANISH-SPEAKING IN AMERICA? WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS? ***

Cops & Robbers

****UPDATE****


so remember the fugly young lady that i butt heads with this past weekend? the one who thought i was so over-the-top because of my style preference? the one who asked to use my makeup? WELL, you would be shocked to know that she STOLE my MAC eyeshadow!!! yes, people, especially the ladies, you know how much of an offense this is!!! and to top it all off, it was a limited shade, never to be sold again!!! i was so livid when i found this out...i mean, this is a double edged sword. one, because that was literally my favorite shadow. i've been very sick for the past 3 days so i haven't worn make-up. but i use this shade just about every time i apply make-up. (it's a nice color to layer with). and secondly, ew! who knows what she's done with it...and i can't even go purchase a new one! so of course i don't want it back, but i sooooo do because i loved it and it was mine. i am so livid because this wilderbeast was not an acquaintance of mine. she was a friend of a friend. and i called myself being hospitable by even being around her and trying to show her a good time while hanging out with my girl....here's how the convo went (and obviously was when the theft occurred)



wilderbeast: you're wearing makeup?





pcd: um, yes





wilderbeast: i don't really wear makeup...but if you two are, maybe i should

pcd: (shrugs shoulders)

wb: well, since i'm wearing black and white, i guess i should use silver eye stuff. do you have any silver

pcd: no

wb: oh, well, you have a lot of stuff. can i use some?

pcd: well, i don't really do that...besides, i don't think i have what you would need. we have two totally different looks.

wb: i just want to look at some of it, ok?

pcd: whatev

wb: (poking thru my stuff) yeah, i couldn't wear this. i'm so dark it prolly wouldn't even show up on me. (picking up the mac shadow) this is pretty but i think i'm too dark for it

pcd: yeah, that wouldn't work

wb: (picks up a cheap gold glitter stick) what about this?

pcd: i don't care (i never use this thing, plus it's like 3 years old)

END OF CONVO


so i'm talking to my girl yesterday and she alerted me that wilderbeast has indeed lifted my eyeshadow and was going to just send me some money for it. I WAS LIVID!!!! beside the fact that she'd look a hot, crispy mess in it, i had told her not to even think about using it, so she STEALS IT!?!?! i swear, i'm done being nice to FOFs. she was a drag to be around, she judged me mercilessly and questioned almost everything about me and ends up being a thief to boot!!! nothing like being robbed by wilderbeasts...it sure puts you in a crappy mood

*DEAD*


THE PRETTY SPOTLIGHT: NY UNDERCOVER


and speaking of robbers, who remembers the show NY UNDERCOVER??? so TV-One is running the repeats again and i'm in heaven!!! and it's the good episodes from the beginning, before moreno or that irish dude was on it. that show was the BEST EVER!! it had the hip-hop beginning (lawd help you if you missed those first 3 musical minutes cuz that was the whole plot), the banging drama and of course, natalie's...the smooth club where the hottest acts performed. and what was so great about these performances was that most of the time, the acts covered someone else's song....



like 112 sang earth, wind & fire,

















xscape sang debarge













k-ci & jojo sang jeffrey osbourne




















brownstone sang "don't ask my neighbor"


















and OLD SCHOOL MARY (my personal fave) sang lots of stuff. she was a repeat performer-(ah, the memories)



















and remember zhane? OMG!!!












on a personal note, i was in love with michael delorenzo. looking back, i don't know what i was thinking....you can't tell me he didn't wear black eyeliner. but i loved him just the same. and for those who wear wondering, michael is now peddling an album....yes, i'm serious.

The Pretty Ugly Spotlight: Lying Whores Shouldn't Go On TV

this is so hilariously desperate and sad that i don't even feel bad...at least not for the hooker of a woman in the clip......watch below




now, who i DO feel for is that humiliated, betrayed and obviously unappreciated husband of hers. her family as well...the look on her mother's face is priceless. now, this goes back to the plies video i posted a few days back. it really baffles me what people will do ON TELEVISION for money and/or exposure. now for those who are unaware, this is a new show called "moment of truth." basically, you sit in a hot seat and take a lie detetor test. the catch is it takes a few questions answered truthfully to even advance higher in the money pool...but if you get just ONE wrong (i.e. if you lie) you lose everything. foolish are you if you think the questions won't be humiliating, degrading and shameful. your family watches as you decide to take the money you have earned thus far or if you want to answer more probing questions for more cash.

the ironic part about this epsiode is that this woman outed herself as a cheating whore, a thief and an emotional betrayer....but blew it when asked if she thought she was a good person. HA! retribution! i am truly confused as to why she would actually think she is a good person, but more importantly, this goes to show you, what you think tv and money can get you can sometimes add up to a bunch of nothing. good luck keeping your husband, lady!

Is There No Dignity Left In The World of Women?

***Mature Content***






i am dumbfounded by what is going on in this video....i first needed to find out what a "plies" is. what does that mean? is it short for something? well, after a few clicks, this is what i found....









after seeing this, i wondered what about a plies made women lose their frazzled minds and carry on like they did on tape? furthermore, what is a 'bust it baby'? seriously, i really would like to know. now, we all know some women will do anything for 15 seconds of fame....we know this from Flavor of Love 1-3 and other girl-centered reality shows. but i am really curious about the desparation that would allow women to act in such a manner for just anyone. maybe i am so dumbfounded because i am personally not familiar with plies....but i am saddened by the lack of concern some women seem to have with their own image.

whatever you so choose to engage in while in the privacy of your homes, so be it. and i loved entertainment and silliness just as much as the next. but to subject yourself to world-wide humiliation for a moment of notoriety is beyond desperate, beyond distasteful...it's vile. and something tells me that none of these women were doing this to be fun and entertaining. there was a woman with the bottom of her butt cheeks hanging out saying how much she'd get with men and/or women. but the jewel was the young lady who spoke of waking up with a penis in her mouth. in my heart of hearts, i know that some of these ladies have children. children that will either view this clip or hear about it from others.


i sure hope the sacrifice of integrity, couth and values are worth it.

All Dora'd Out: Part One-The Silly

ok, i am really struggling today. i have a confession to make. i...hate...dora the explorer.




i reeeeeeeeeeally hate her. i have a 15 month old. she adores this big-headed girl who never changes clothes and totes around a disease-hosting monkey that talks. i dread when her show comes on. but as of late, it's become much more serious. i now hate shopping in mass retail stores because of dora. she's EVERYWHERE!!! and for some time now, my daughter has been able to recognize her (or boots the monkey) from 7.2 miles away and goes insane with excitement. she screams "DOOR! DOOR!" and squeals in the highest pitched screech like a monkey for boots. if i'm allowing her to walk on her own, she'll stop dead in her tracks and enter this haze refusing to move if she stumbles upon a dora item.


let me first say, i am not a fan of character items period. it becomes a disease. but regardless of which character it is, my kid will not have





or





or




and definitely not





and it doesn't stop there...there's little training panties, socks, all sorts of clothes, night lights, stickers, umbrellas, cups and all kinds of plateware, the list is endless! (p.s. doesn't that second dora cake look like it rode the short bus to the party?) i just can't take the sensory overload, plus i think it looks tacky. i realize it may be hard, but when my daughter is of age, i will ask her to choose a color or theme to her bedroom, no characters allowed. not to mention, i think it's quite creepy to have someone's face everywhere...sleeping on it, sitting on it, eating on it, walking on it...just weird! but the reality is that my baby loves her. and i am slowly going insane


tomorrow, the post will continue.......but from another angle