the other day, i was thinking about some of the roommates i've had in the past. some were quite colorful...others were "regular" people. but its those wacky ones that really took the cake...
first there was *kayla.
she was a church girl who i'd known for seven years. she did not drink, do any drugs or have premarital sex. she went to church every sunday, prayed and read her bible daily and did not say curse words. kayla was great...except she kept the house filthy.
at first, she would stare at my bed decor and decorative do-dads in awe. i thought that was weird because we were young and i didn't have anything extravagant, but she thought everything i had/did was so fancy or beautiful. well, i figured out why when on the way to the bathroom one morning, i must have squashed about 20 cocoa puffs into the carpet. i was livid! i don't even eat cereal...but to have little crumbs all smushed into the floor was unacceptable. then i got to the sink and it was covered in hair and makeup debris. i couldn't even use it because i am weird like that. if someone else's hair or nail fragments are visibly strewn about, i will be overcome with the willies. kayla would leave all kinds of trash around, make-up plopped everywhere, and she shed like a friggin' puppy! all was lost when she began setting her alarm to blast the church music at an ungodly hour and would leave it on while she showered...all while i was asleep, or trying to be. needless to say, we didn't make it to year 2. one year was enough.
next there was *carrie and *sherrie. they were sisters i had been acquainted with for some years. carrie was my age and sherrie was 2 years older. the sisters were seemingly pleasant and clean so i thought all would be good. but after a few discussions about living together, carrie wanted to invite *gilda to live there as well. i didn't have a good feeling about gilda because i didn't know her and when i saw her, i was even more concerned. she was very odd looking and acting. she kinda looked like a malnourished vulture with dark, sunken in eyes and stringy hair.
she was very stand-offish but i was like whatev. i figured that since i was so busy, it wouldn't matter. immediately problems began. carrie started acting strangely and wouldn't speak to me. gilda never was nice. she would roll her eyes at me, walk right by and not speak and slam doors if i had friends over. all was lost when i had a gathering of sorts around thanksgiving. no one was there except me so i figured that it would be ok to have a few people over. we were having a great time and gilda walked in. she was there for all of five muntes and walked back out. 2 minutes later, there was a knock on the door. that hussy called the authorities on me! thankfully, my fabulousness won them over and there were no citations given, but i was irate. well, as soon as the police left, she walked back in and almost sprinted to her room locking the door. well, i sprinted after her giving her a piece of my mind. i kicked her door and told her that when i did see her, i was going to go upside that vulture-y face of hers so she'd better leave. well, she hid in there for hours and wouldn't come out so we all left. days later, gilda moved out.
we needed another roomie so we let this chick named *vickie take vulture's room. vickie was so sweet. she was from a small town and she was a fresh bumpkin off of the turnip truck. she was excited to be in a "real" city and she was a year younger than me and carrie. all was well for the first few weeks. then vickie started getting into the swing of things. she invited a lot of guys over. A LOT! 
and i noticed a trend...they were all friends. sometimes, there would be two guy friends in her room with her. sometimes i would wake up and be walking around in my panties, only to have a mini-heart attack because some random dude would pop out of her room. needless to say, she was becoming a whore and what was worse, was that our address was associated with her whoredom. someone came to me one day and told me that our address was mentioned in the same breath as some freaky mentionings. i was disgusted. i told vikcie that she had to remove the fire from her tail or find somewhere else to live. we went back and forth and she hated me after that. she wouldn't speak to me and she met her callers elsewhere.
carrie became even more estranged and when the year was up, her sister explained to me that carrie hated me because of my hair. go figure! i thought she was mad because she sensed the tension between me and her friend the vulture....but just like a chick, she was an undercover hater. she was one of those color-struck chicks caught up in old school race issues. i laughed all over the place when sherrie told me that, then wished her well. that was the end of that.
***HAVE YOU EVER HAD A CRAPPY ROOMMATE??? OR HAVE YOU BEEN A CRAPPY ROOMMATE??? SHARE......***
