sooooooooo my good people...have you ever found yourself in the position of cutting someone off? perhaps, excluding someone from your life who was more of a burden than a pleasure? or maybe someone who treats you less than the wonderful way you treat them? i seem to find myself in that position much more often than i would like, but it is what it is.
i guess because the weather is changing, so is life....and its time to take out the trash and cut off the ones who aren't flourishing in the garden of my life (tee hee hee, aren't i snarky?). take a peek into a few of the weeds trying to choke out my splendor...
cousin...one year younger than i, has a daughter same age as mine. i am much more outgoing and outspoken and she struggles socially-A LOT! my issue is, she only calls me when the retarded vagrant of a husband of hers does something her. she always wants me to tell her what to do or woo-saaaaaa her into feeling good again. she's very needy and can never join me in events where she won't get all of my attention. whenever i try to get together with her so the babies can play or just for a socially good time, she almost always cancels....VERDICT: I AM NOT DR. PHIL. I HAVE MY OWN LIFE AND DO HAVE TIME NOR AM I INTERESTED IN BEING INVOLVED IN CONSTANT DRAMA. AND IF YOU STILL SECRETLY LOATHE ME (which she actually told me once), THEN LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO BORROW PIECES OF MY LIFE BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE YOURS!
acquaintance (who i thought was on her way to becoming a friend)...3 years older, son same age as my daughter. we were introduced thru a mutual acquaintance and thought it'd be good to let the kids socialize. soon, we discovered some likenesses and seemingly fed positively off of each other's differences. well, it seems as if this acquaintance has become extremely lop-sided. i am usually the one calling to say hi, schedule play-dates and suggest outings for us and our spouses. first things first, PCD is NO groupie! trust and believe i have plenty to do and i chase no one. so you get all of a few chances to act like you don't want to be bothered before i ax you. in the past 2 weeks, she cancelled at the last minute on TWO occasions. the first was her suggestion, which i rearranged my day to accommodate. the second was the GNO i arranged. as previously stated, when i orchestrate GNOs, they usually require dressing nicely and looking fabulous. i think she has a issue with this, as i've noticed she usually is dressed rather blandly. thats cool...but um, don't lie to me and say you have strep throat 2 hours before we're leaving. i don't believe you....AND she pulled out of an event she invited me and my baby to. if i hadn't remembered the date, it would have totally passed us by...and furthermore, she casually says she's not even going and that her hubby would be there. um, do i kick it with your hubby? did he invite me? HOW RUDE!! sooooooooo, VERDICT: I AM PCD. I AM NOT IN THE BUSINESS OF CHASING GROWN FOLKS OR BEING THE ALWAYS-AVAILABLE-ANNIE WHEN YOU WANT, BUT WHEN THE TABLES ARE TURNED, YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE, YOU ARE SICK, YOUR EYE FELL OUT, YOUR DOG DROVE OFF WITH YOUR CAR OR WHATEVER. BE CONSIDERATE AND TREAT PEOPLE HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED. TOO BAD IT WON'T BE WITH ME.
so as you can see, PCD is not the one to try and mess over. i hate even having to deal with this because it truly pains me...but at the same time, i am not a doormat. and people will go as faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar as you let them. and the buck stops here...
***HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO CUT SOMEONE OFF FOR ACTING A FOOL, INAPPROPRIATELY, OR JUST NOT IN A MANNER THAT MADE YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE AS THEIR FRIEND/RELATIVE/ACQUAINTANCE? SHARE..........***
11 comments:
Hello.. you are beautiful by the way..
anyway I am sorry that you are having to be a butcher right now in life. It get's bloody doesn't it. Females are just ignorant babe..and seeing how you are sooo pretty* they secretly hate you..and like you said want to be around you to steal peices of your life and replace it with their own raggedy one.. you seem like you are the cognitive one..their bad..
and for me..i don't keep too many chicks around..i have never..had to let one of my boys go..but i did have this one gf..we knew each other in middle school, but got really close as seniors in hs. I went off to college, but we talked everyday and she came to visit me. She got married, and i got engaged at the same time. Our babies are a month apart. To make a long story short..she talked too much..she was friends w/ my enemies, and she was sooo negative. she talked about the man i was in a relationship w/..and always made little jokes that i didn't think was funny. I finally stopped answering her calls..she didn't get the hint and kept calling..until i change my #..
then she found me on myspace..and i never replied to this day..she knows what she did wrong..I know for a fact..and i have too many secrets about that girl..that i had to just walk away before she made me mad..and i acted like her..and pissed on her life..but that's not me...i'm ms. passive agressive..but i'm not afraid to stand up for myself when needed..
I'll be back to visit your blog..
@ PCD
I feeeeeel you!!! You had to do what you had to do. Why would you wanna "sweat" somebody for their friendship.
I had a friend like that who I had to cut off. Me and this dude used to hang pretty tough when we were single. But I noticed a trend...we'd only hang when it was convenient for him. If he was too busy, then we couldn't hang. I, too, became too busy to hang with him. The last straw was when he just "barely mentioned" in a casual convo that he was about to become a father. Hellloooo!!! That's the news that you broadcast to the world. You don't tell your friend 8 months into the pregnancy. It was cool but I learned we weren't as close as I thought we were. I had to cut him off. Now, we may talk once or twice a yr. And we both live in Atlanta
YES
I've had to cut a really good friend of mine off because our relationship just wasn't healthy any more. Sometimes you just out grow people in your life just like you out grow things you use to do in your life. It hurts (at least it hurt me) but I knew in order for me to be the best I could be I couldn't have that person around me.
Great post! I can sooooooo relate! Unfortunately, I don't have many friends. I think it's mainly because I don't like many people. I've written this almost exact same response to someone else's blog who did a similar post.
I just don't have time or the desire to hang out with females all the time. Every now and then is ok, but not all the time...hence I don't have many friends. I know it's selfish, but it's who I am. I guess my problem is that I can be quite anti-social and moody.
Having said that, I had to end a friendship last year because I was always doing stuff for her and the favors were never returned. When I would get emails and phone calls from her, it felt like a bill collector! I knew then I had to call it quits. I haven't regretted ending it yet and it's been almost a year. It was the best thing I've done for myself in a long time!
I so loved this post, cleaning out that garden huh? good for you. The answer is yes, first was a relative, we both had the same interests and i decided to help her out with something, all of a sudden she began to get bossy and manipulative, you see some seem to take my kindness for weakness (fools that they are)...the ish hit the fan, and i dismissed her, and i felt so much better about it, especially after she had the nerve to try to cuss me out about dismissing her...smh. Some folks just don't get it, I don't need extra baggage and drama-filled folks in my life...by nature of who i am, i will walk or you will get the stepping. Period.
sigh. i cut people off after they've pushed me beyond that point and usually i try to do it w/a minimum of drama but occasionally they try to get nasty and then i just have to shut down AGAIN all communication. if they want to get the last word via email, fine. i won't respond to your foolishness. until you can grow up, have a nice life. 2 people fall in that category.
then there was one who just stopped talking to me for no apparent reason. wouldn't return calls or emails and i said fine and stopped calling/emailing. we used to be inseparable. it's been 3.5 years since we've spoken. oh well.
hey lil mama, i totally understand where you are coming from, I so heart you like for real.
i have only two friends my sis and Ashley, why you may ask. well i go out of my way for people if you especially if you are my friend, but i find that people dont treat you the same in return. people are jealous hearted also, i never knew that until my mom explained it to me.
despite the fact that I have only two friend besides the blog family I am much happy and have to deal with less drama. will I be letting anyone in, i dont know you have to prove yourself to me and then we will see. Happiness means alot to me and if you with all that negativity then you can stay over there.
I feel you on this post, do what is best for you, and what will make you happy. Your beautiful and I can see why others would be jealous and want t rain on your parade, but dont let em,mama
Yes chile!
Two stand out the most.One was as recent as this January. She always RSVP'd to every event I gave and NEVER showed. The last straw was my last bday when I made a reservation at a upscale restaurant.I told her if she could not make it no sweat but not to RSVP because they would not let us be seated. She called me the afternoon of the dinner to tell me that she was STILL Coming and then she didnt show. And it was 3 days before she called with her infamous excuse "something happen with the kids" So I wrote her and email and told her I just couldn't do it anymore, it had been 12 years of that BS.But she was quick to blame me calling me judgemental, and selfish. WTF?! I consulted with my real friends and decided that enough was enough
The second one was easier because she had come between me and one of my dearest friends. And then when I was going through some nonsense with my Hubby she was nowhere to be found. She called me a month later and I told her to lose my number.
All I can say is there is no feeling like being free from someone elses bull. So get to chopping!
this reminds me of a little diddy read a while back that started with
"Don't spend major time with minor people."
I think I am about to go post the whole thing on RBW right now since I haven't posted today
@ everyone...thanx for sharing your stories!!!!!!
Wow! How insightful.
You put into words how I've felt in some friendships. It can really hurt your feelings, ya know?
I'm printing your post our right now.
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